Splendid.Paradise.Sublime.Pivotal

2005-04-15T21:21:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone. I've MOVED.

Please go to the above link for new posts.

Thanks!

Love you guys!

2005-04-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

Okay everyone. I know it's been a really long week. With all the campaigning and stuff.

I just wanted to extend my thanks to Sheena, Kaihong, Jonathan, Steph, Meryl, Raghu, Jason and everyone else from 1S03F!

Oh, and Wingyee, if you happen to read this, THANK YOU!!!!...I love you, and I miss training with you. Haha! Parters in crime (i.e. Slacking)

Right now, I think my campaign is a little on the weak side. Bleahh. Hopefully I can scrape through though. Seriously, what did you guys think of the speech?

Maybe a little too conservative? I dunno. This year's batch of campaigners are really a little too vibrant. Dont'cha think? With all the big fat posters and color pictures and woah!

I feel so...belittled. Hardly anyone even knows me. Sobbb.

Anyway, I'm extremely tired. Just got back from Turf City. Yay! RJ got double champs!! WOohOooo!

Yup. Final reminder to everyone: PLEASE VOTE FOR ME! (and get more people to vote too) haha.

Thank you guys!

2005-04-10T10:57:00.000+08:00

Your Power Color Is Orange

You live in the fast lane. You love action, risk, and competition.
You're spontaneous, enthusiastic, and persuasive.
But you're also easily bored - and love to rebel against structures.
You resent rules ... as well as people's attempts to control you!

What's Your Power Color? Take This Quiz :-)

Your Scent is Rose

Delicate, feminine, and soft

Your personality is fresh and understated

What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Wahaha...This is all Sheena's fault. And I secretly think (ok, not so secret anymore) that she's obsessed by all the quizzes we can do on the net. lol. Maybe I am too.

Haha....right. Lunch time. Yes. At 11 am.

Wahaha...This is all Sheena's fault. And I secretly think (ok, not so secret anymore) that she's obsessed by all the quizzes we can do on the net. lol. Maybe I am too.

Haha....right. Lunch time. Yes. At 11 am.

2005-04-09T22:57:00.000+08:00

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart

Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome

Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand

And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-)

Haha...okay. This is so cool. Last year I was like my wedding is going to be in Italy. And Mrs Soh was like..." THANK GOD!!!HITLERINA...I DON'T WANT TO GO TO GERMANY FOR YOUR WEDDING!!!"

"Who said I was going to invite you to my wedding?"

"ME!"

more laughter.

HAHA....funny. Miss her.

2005-04-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

Bio Bio Bio.....you are not the way you used to be...

I'm going crazy. Perhaps I should have started reading Bio earlier...rather than start at the end of last week. Earlier when I wasn't plagued by this sickness, and not have the frequent urge to cough or expel mucus from my nose. Earlier when I was free-er and not bolted down by other stuff.

Regret, regret. Argh. It's too late. Whatever happens on Monday is not up to me anymore.

All I can do is try to remember the structure of a cell. ONE CELL...the basic make up of our body. They tell you basic? Basic is definitely NOT an understatement. And I'm telling you, if it's basic, it shouldn't take up 75% RAM space in my brain...

Thank GOD...there are no essay questions. At least if something sinks into my brain, I can still attempting smoking through the paper.

It's supposed to be hard. A sure-fail paper. That doesn't improve my feelings right now. What's my problem? I like listening to all those classic love songs that actually don't really make you feel happy and upbeat. They're so romantic I start sighing.

I cried at the Pope's funeral yesterday. Welll...not at, I was watching it on TV. And unlike Sheena, I didn't even get to see the Pope personally, not even get a glance because my parents couldn't wait for me to get home from Shanghai first. Just had this sudden choking sensation, and I started tearing. I'm crazy.... Imagine what I would be like if I were there personally. Amongst that 2 million people. OMG. I would have been a mess. And for no apparent reason some more.

Like I said, I'm a comic persona.

I finally managed to take a nap today. After 1 hour of lying on the bed, turning about and coughing. Yes...so in the end I effectively only slept for 45 minutes. And it was a fitful 45 minutes too. I also had some weird freaky dream....which just gave me a feeling of abstract deja vu. Shaky...

It's late....

OH and Sheena...I'm tired too. And. I'm not that scary. hahaha....okay. Maybe I am.

2005-04-08T18:08:00.000+08:00

There are ants crawling all over my table. I'm curious about what's so good smelling/tasting that they are paying me an unwanted visit. I have nothing regarding opened food on my table. All that I have are tablet medicines and sealed up bags of chocolate and herbal candy. Which are both airtight and unopened. Sheesh. What is it man???

64732222. I actually know the number by heart now. It's for an ambulance to Mount Elizabeth. Yeah....please look for Dr. Vivian Chan. Since she has my medical record for this episode of sickness. Yep. That is if I require the ambulance. I think it'll be quite fun riding in it though. Lol...

I decidedly hate taxi drivers. Today was a bad experience. He actually....ARGH. Nevermind. I don't want to talk about it. It is so....pissifying.

Today, wasn't an entirely good day in school. Not an entirely good time last night either. I was really upset by this computer. And by my crazy diskette. And my nose. And the fact that I didn't get to watch finish the TV show.

I am sooooooooooo....not so good now. I want to take a nap. But it's dinner time. And i have to go eat. How many time has this happened this week? Eeeek.

Plans ruined. Again.

-no comment-

2005-04-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

Enzymes. Are catalysts. Biological catalysts. They form a enzyme-substrate complex when they combine. After that...enzyme-product complex. Right...

Activation energy: initial investment of energy for starting a reaction.

peak of graph, unstable condition --> transition state.

modest reaction: at room temp. sufficient thermal energy for reactants to reach transition state.

Need barrier of activation energy, or proteins, DNA and other complex molecules of the cell which are rich in free energy will decompose spontaneously. Barrier of activation energy, however, must also be overcome so that the cell won't be metabolically stagnant.

Enzymes lower Ea barrier. so that transition state is within reach even at moderte temp.

Enzymes are specific in the reactions they catalyse.

Exergonic, Endergonic.

3-D shape of an enzyme enables it to stabilise temporary associations between substrates.

CAN BE USED OVER AND OVER AGAIN....lol

Globular proteins. Pockets or clefts (active site)

AMINO ACIDS?!!!! OMG. urgh

ABSOLUTE, Group, linkage specifity.

denatured: globular shape and conformation of active site irreversibly changed. Funcion permanently lost.

This is going to take forever to finish. Shit. Just great. I still gotta at least know some stuff about proteins and cell microbiology. That chapter bites. It does I'm telling you. IT BITES WHERE IT HURTS....bleah

Just great. I'm so not looking forward to tomorrow. God please lengthen the time between 3 to 5 o'clock. Make it like 6 hours instead of 2. Please???? Then I can go have a nice beauty sleep I haven't been treating my poor battered self lately. Dang...I really wish I could get that beauty sleep so that I can recuperate faster, and PUH-LEEAZE let the Nasonex work. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE....I'm sick of being sick. C'mon...crippled for almost 3 weeks already. And I only have one more antibiotic pill left. That's for tomorrow. And that's it. My body is so not helpful.

AND I REALLY WANNA PATRONIZE SOME OTHER STORE RATHER THAN THE TOFU STORE OR THE NOODLE STORE. really really really......*screams*

I wish it was just a stupid simple flu that took at most one week to cure. This bronchitis + sinusitis thing isn't working out for me at all. LOOK AT ME! I'm becoming a stick. My elbows are starting to stick out. I'm so....bleagh. SICK. JUST utterly sick of it.

The past 2 weeks. Just sucked. In every aspect. Well, almost every.

OH YEAH....did I mention? My god-darn ceiling got busted again. There's a 5cm diameter hole in my ceiling. And about another 3 leaks all along the ceiling. Now my room looks like some squatter with pails and cloth lying all around.

I think I was born under some unlucky star.

Haha....actually. I feel like laughing at myself. I am laughing at myself. YOu know what? I always end up laughing at myself. I am such a funny character. Woohoo....ego again. Comical, drama-mamah...darn.

If I had to describe my world in colors. It would be this awful shade of lemon yellow. Those really bright ones? With multi-colors doodled across it like those you can find in my horrible artwork. Haha....

Queer, queer....

Missing someone. If only he/she was here to share this stupid escapade (my life) I'm going through now. Haha....he/she was the best person to share my laughter with. If only you were here...watch my scribbly rainbow across the lemon yellow sky. Cool huh??? Yeah. He/she is detached. Sigh....

I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. See lah....why always like that?!!!! hmph.

-no comments-

2005-04-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

Spent the entire afternoon coming out with campaigning stuff.

I'm pretty pissed off.

I am not in a bad mood, I'm just unhappy with some people. RAH. WTH!!!

Still have to study for BIO. Which is not coming along well since I can barely sit still for 10 minutes without having to blow my nose or cough out phlegm or go to the washroom after drinking loads of warm water.

Sheena. Thank you. Don't say what I'm thanking you for. Some people might get upset. You know what I mean.

JINYUE....send the attachment to meeeeee....argh. Is it my computer or is it yours?

Haiz. I'm really really dying.

2005-04-06T16:33:00.000+08:00

I made it to the campaigning round of Council Elections....

So EVERYBODY who's reading this please vote for me!!! Thank you! :)

I also need ideas on how to campaign and what to say. Soooo...if you have any constructive advice, either tag or tell me directly. Kay??? PLEEEEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE...

Anywayz. I didn't need a nabulizer in the end. Phew. I only needed nasal sprays. For the sinuses. Apparently there's a trickle running down the back of the throat that's causing me to cough. Ewww...

Alrighty. Short post today. People. Please throw in suggestions.

2005-04-05T18:36:00.000+08:00

OK. I simply had to do this. Anyway, I just had dinner. And I'm still waiting for my father to come home so I can go to the hospital for nabulization....if I really need it. The doctor wants to review me again. Apparently, I'm not doing better than the medicine should have made me, actually I think I'm doing worse. Sooooo....review, review. Bleah....imagine a ball that bounces, bounces, bounces and then drops flat with a squelch on the ground. All it's rubber leaking at the seams of the ball.

HaHaHa...signs of delirium.

Yes Sheena ma'am. I am going to complete your assignment on getting better. You know, it's not that I didn't try to complete it....it's just that the viruses and bacteria (or whatever is really affecting me) stop me from getting the assignment done. I really did try. I even accomplished the learning objectives no. 1 and 2. Which is to drink warm water only and to stop eating oily/heaty food. Yeah. Pardon me ma'am...but No can do. Perhaps you would like to speak to the germs directly and ask them to stop harrasing me so that I can complete my getting-well assingment? I know it's one week overdue...but really....

Right-oh! Now let's be a tad egoistic and show off my quiz results. Not that it's really accurate anyway. I'll need to speak to a psychiatrist for that....lol.

I am 8% evil.
Take the test :: koolplace.com

Okay. With hope. The format will turn out correct on the real webbie.

Praying that I'll get better in less than 2 weeks.

2005-04-05T15:27:00.000+08:00

Today...

Was okay. Not good okay, but not-so-good okay. Dear, dear, what am I talking about. Imminent incoherence.

Kay. So I reached home at 3 plus. Expensive taxi fare. Sigh....I pity myself sometimes.

This makes me think of something else. Why do some people love to wallow in self pity. Only they can answer the question, but obviously, it's not a straightforward answer. It probably has got to do with pyschological factors that make them behave the way they do. Everyone will wallow in self pity, but some lesser, some more. And when all you hear about or feel about or just get this vibe because of certain body languages/gestures, is their problems or misfortune...ah-hah! Then you know whether the person falls into the category or not!

Lol...I should just go major in pyschology now, instead of studying (and not-studying) for my A levels. Bleagh. Sometimes, I wish the world could move in express time. Instead of dragging everything out. Alternate dimension???

Talking pure nonsense now. Haha...

Anyway, illness's not getting any better. Nose is still clogged, lungs are still deprived of air, throat still itching. Yeeeecks. If I faint due to oxygen deprivation, someone please pick me up gently and dial 995. Please don't wait until I turn blue and start to seize up. Okay???

Yeah, yeah....some people keep wanting to place me next to someone else. Haha...amusing. As long as I don't have to sit next to another someone that's fine. But honestly, I don't mind sitting next to the first someone. Someone's okay to sit next to, so long it doesn't evolve into another pengfanie case-study I'm fine with it. Heh! Try figuring out who all the someone's are...lol.

'kay! That's all for today. I want to sleep or something, clear my air passages.

"Beauty is skin-deep. It's the subcutaneous fats that matter."

2005-04-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

Haha...those words keep rolling out of my tongue, No, fingers.

Today was an okay day, I suppose. I mean, other than the fact that I was busy trying to unclog my nose and gullet for most of the day.

I loved the weather. It rained. It's been a long time since it's rained like that. The weather cooled me down (I was initially HOT...lol), and I was enjoying myself in the just-right temperature. Somehow, my body works differently from others as can be deduced from the way they were complaining it was cold. Especially the guys. Which is plain weird. C'mon, they have long pants, look at our skirts! And...they're supposed to be physically fitter, or so they always claim.

Then again, because of the great weather, in my perspective, everyone was queing up to buy hot food from the canteen the queues were all long and moving at snail's pace. RAH!!! I was getting impatient by the end of, say, 20 minutes of waiting. What's more, the queue at the noodle's stall was so short but yet it took forever to get to my turn. Poor Jon Foo had to wait with me and we were both getting pissed with the uncle. Nobody asked Jon Foo to buy food from the same stall I was queing yet. If I was feeling better and not in search of soup and noodles, I would have purchased at some other fast-moving stall. Or just eat snacks. Bleah. Most of my recess was spent waiting in line.

Lectures were fine today. I understood most of the stuff that was going on, which is good. I was a model student today! YAY!

During Math tutorial, Ms Lim was practically screaming her vocal cords out. I can just imagine this cord like thingy vibrating up and down vigorously as she strained her voice to explain domains and ranges about functions. Oh, hell...she'd already gone through most of it last week. Only the last ten minutes of her lesson was worth listening to.

New GP teacher. She's obviously not as nice as Liang Si, but that should be the way! Hopefully she teachers well enough so that we can do well for our tests and exams. At least she's more organized, I think. And of course, more experienced. Thank God for the change. If only they would hurry and switch away our Physics and Bio tutors too. Awwh please, finish all your maternity leaves and whatnot and come dedicate your time to teaching us.

Chem was as usual, ridiculously slow. And today we didn't even ask any outrageous waste-time-tactic questions. We were pretty much subdued through the whole day. Perhaps it was all the weather's doing? Anyway, Mr Tan took like one hour to go through 2 miserable questions, which I think could have been adequately covered in half and hour. At this rate, we'll take the whole term to finish one lousy piece of tutorial. Please hurry up!

Physics tutorial was more on-task today. Although it was still not satisfactory in my standard. We had to stay back to finish extra questions. Nevermind, it was good, in a sense. Except that some people who didn't really have to leave urgently left early. Lack of etiquette and honesty, I must say...

The ride home was okay. I was coughing at regular intervals, and everytime I cough it feels as though my head is blowing up due to the pressure. And it HURTS. ALOT. When you have to cough more than a hundred times an hour.

I'm going to have to stone through PE tomorrow. Again. And for the next 2 weeks. GREAT!!! My muscles will probably liquify to fats by the time I can go back for training. Nahhh...not so bad. I'll burn up all the fats by coughing and blowing and moving about constantly. Soooo..that just leaves proteins and bones. Of course blood and all the other tissues. Haha...that's sick. If only you could see the mental picture I'm having right now, you'll be freaked out. Haha....

Touch wood = cellulose clump.

Bleaghhh...hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. Though I really am not to optimistic about how it'll turn out. FACE IT. It's either gonna be okay, or worse, or just pure DEFECATED material. Yuck!

I'm scowling. Geez.

I'm mutating into a 5 year old kid. Somebody save me. One of those with loud sniffs, either big radiant smiles or obvious sulks. One of those with a lack of patience, and over-affectionate behavior. BIPOLAR!!!!!

I'm ostensibly not okay up there. Darnnnnnn...

Right. Or as Jonathan always says, where's the left? Whatever lah. Anyway...

Right. This is a super long entry. I'm gonna stop here. Or I'll never stop. See what I mean, I'm continuing to type again!!! OKAY!!! stop YOU STUPID fingers!!! OKay, okay....chill...I'm COLD...no. Actually, I'm OKaY. RIGHT. STOP RIGHT NOW!

2005-04-04T18:21:00.000+08:00

You Are a Retrospective Soul

The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor.
Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life.
Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Haha...okay....sorta me. Confused person...bleah.

And I'm still not feeling too good. Everytime I cough, my head hurts. WHAT IS THIS? I can't even cough when I want to, or need to. And my nose is clogged up...urgh!

Sheena said I'm losing too much weight. I know....I can't help it, I've even been eating extra food. For me, it's simple. Everytime I fall sick, I lose weight, even if I'm eating normally and not training. Bleahhh....

Kay. Dinner soon...

2005-04-03T20:05:00.000+08:00

Counting today...

I've been sick for 2 whole weeks.

and still counting.

I'll probably be sick for the whole month.

Not good....not good at all.

Klacid MR once a day tablets...they do you good..

Pharmaceuticals should start sponsoring me. Dhasedyl, Bambec, Danzen, Actifed, Ambroxol, Cirrus, Singulair, Seretide, Pacofen, Debridat, Klacid. (just for these 2 weeks)

For my whole life?

The list is long. Glucosamine (for fractured stuff), Paracetamol, Panadol, Kamex, Augmentin, Mucosolvan, Prednysilon, Ventolin, Flumicil, Minoxidil...(including those mentioned earlier)

Name it, I've probably tried it. Geez...

They really should sponsor me, or at least pay me for doing advertisments, and for being part of their research work.

Depressing entry...

2005-04-03T12:56:00.000+08:00

By the end of this week, I'd probably have used up as much tissue paper as the entire population of Singapore would've used in one day.

I'll use a few rolls of toilet paper and a few boxes of tissues. In 3 hours, I finished 3 packs of tissue already. Tomorrow is going to be hell sitting in the LT and through classes until 4pm. Doesn't help that I have lessons for all 5 subjects on Mondays.

Bio test on Week 4. It's Week 3 tomorrow. I have only 7 days left to swallow up 10 chapters of Bio. Which is pretty impossible now since I can hardly concentrate with a splitting headache, aching limbs, running nose, congested chest and dry cough. Rahr.... I'm going to fail it...bleah.

Distractions, distractions.....urgh. I feel like taking one day off on that day. But it's not going to happen...

Randomness...

2005-04-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

I'm just wishing that I could see the weather change right now. I mean, from cold cold winter, to rainy spring. Instead of the darn haze that shrouds Singapore now.

Awwhhh...c'mon it's April. I want to see rain and the snow melting, and the birds chirping and the flowers blooming. The disadvantages of living in a country which is so proud to have 'eternal summer'.

Rah.

I wish the weather here was cold enough so I could own a fireplace.

This is silliness....yeah. Sigh. I guess.

But then again, with the cold weather, I'd probably fall sick more often. Perhaps not, I'll eventually adapt.

2005-04-02T21:51:00.000+08:00

Oh Joy! I just went to the Accident and Emergency department of Mount Elizabeth Hospital to get myself treated. Guess what???

Now I have another course of antibiotics to complete. And more cough mixtures.

The doctor's like....okay, this is quite bad.

Bleagh.

And my blood pressure is low.

Wish they'd let me get blood tests done too.

But the medical bill was so expensive....dotz.

And the doctor's name was Vivian Chan...haha...so funny. Can imagine Mrs. Chan from NY Geo Department being a doctor...all the patients will die of lameness.

Bleagh...

2005-04-02T14:34:00.000+08:00

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter".

"A cheerful heart is good medicine"

Why was it all so simple then? The days filled with love and laughter. Tears were inevitable, but at least there wasn't anger or fear. Those days were long forgotten in her weary mind. Old Bessie left her good memories in a secret chest she placed under her bed. Those memories were beautiful, poignant and glowed with a certain glee.

When her husband abandoned her with their children, Bessie took a turn for the worse. It was sweet denial that pushed her to the brink of insanity. She started believing that she could do everything, she believed that everything she did was right and that her children would grow up to be beautiful, loved, intelligent, succesful souls. Old Bessie tried her best, tried till she forgot her own health, forsaken her happy thoughts. She used to be such a carefree, free-spirited girl, always stopping to admire a cluster of wildflowers, taking any opportunity to breathe in the scent of the sweetness of grass growing in the meadows.

Work wearied her, she fell apart. Sobbing everynight didn't do her any good, her children grew unruly, one died, the other was in jail. Bessie grew depressed...life lost it's color, gradually became dull and the world became tiring. Her friends pitied her but at the same time didn't know what to say. She would push them away, yet at the same time saying that they neglected her. Friends left her side eventually.

One day, when she was mulling about at home, she dropped something under her bed. Groping about, Bessie discovered the dust-laden chest. Pulling it out with trepidation, she opened it slowly. Reaching in she drew out all her memories. Perfect ones, happy ones, nostalgic ones, sad ones.

They unlocked a door in her heart, Old Bessie started to realize where she had gone wrong in her life. The revelation saddened her so much that when her soul departed, tears were still streaking down her wizened cheeks.

________________________________________________________

Appreciate what you have...before it's too late.

Dreaming
I must be dreaming
Or am I really lying here with you
Baby
you take me in your arms
and though I'm wide awake
I know my dream has come true
and though I tried
I couldn't help it but
just fall in love again
just one touch
And I fall in love again

And when i do
I can't help myself
I fall in love with you

Magic
it must be magic
the way i hold you
And the night just seems to fly
Easy
for you to take me to the stars
heaven is that moment
when i look into ur eyes

Ohhh...I love the song...even though i only just heard it on the radio.

2005-04-01T21:47:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!

I just saw what Chinyen tagged at Joy's blog. I am down right disgusted and shocked.

Some ONE have better tell me how to faint on demand.

LIKE HELL she hid her feelings after she didn't run good races for the past 2 years.

MY ASS!!! Hell will freeze over before she hides her feelings. OKay....maybe I'm mistaken, she hid her feelings, she just ACTED OUT another feeling to cry for attention then.

WHO WAS IT? Who started sobbing piteously after the 1500m race last year? I must add....she cried for more than half an hour. Wow....some way of concealing her emotions.

And who was it who kept rambling on and on and on about why she didn't run well and how bad her timings were after any bad race?

Oh...it must've been TEE CHIN YEN!!!!

YEAH...true, a captain doesn't have to be any star runner. You have to be there caring and encouraging the team. (her words) DID SHE DO ANY OF THAT LAST YEAR?

I seem to recall someone saying," I want to be in the 4X400m team. They always win something." WTH???

OR WHO SAID..."You (weiwei) want the Napfa award is it? You want I LET you lor."

WHATEVER (here I need to break out of character and do the shoulder tapping head shaking version of WHATEVER)....said this before: Miss Tan is blind. Always have been, always will be. Poor Shizhen, what was rightfully hers was taken away. And honestly, she'll make a better leader than whoever's in power now.

Heh...some form of caring and encouraging. She's just pure selfish. Remember her chasing behind me so hard I decided then and there (in the course of running) to give her a hard time.

Never respected any of them, never will. YOU stamp on my believes, camper merrily over personal space and rights...I look down on you. If I let you choose how I live my life, or if I let you bully others into obeying you...what kind of person will I be. Hurt me once, shame on me; hurt me twice, shame on you.

2005-04-01T20:36:00.000+08:00

The second part of today really sucked.

I mean the lessons were fine....but apart from that, everything else sucked. Jinyue was being moody, Sheena and I were not feeling peachy, and THANK GOD Cherie was still Cherie. During P.E, Sheena and I chatted for quite some time, abandoning Stephanie. Honestly, we thought we were out there for only 10 minutes, who knew that it was actually like...the entire P.E period. And silly us were still wondering why it only took 5 minutes for Steph to feel bored. Sorry Steph. Really.

Then the taxi fare for the ride home was almost 2 dollars more than usual, and I was unhappy with the driver because everytime he talked to me, he wasn't paying attention to the traffic and wasted my money by not cutting across the road whenever there was opportunity to.

By that time, my throat was hurting more than it should be. I was drinking loads of water but that didn't relieve the pain at all.

After taking a shower, went to the hospital to visit my Grandma. Not so good experience there either.

Went home, took a nap because I was really not feeling so good. At 7 plus, my mum knocked on my door and said, "Matilda, you need to wake up to eat."

Grudgingly, I pulled myself out of bed, throat still hurting badly. I ate my dinner with some difficulty, because of the stupid strep throat. Somehow, dinner made the pain even worse and I was coughing badly to try expel the phlegm or whatever was stuck in my oesophagus or windpipe. And GUESs WHAT? I ended up puking out my entire dinner because I coughed too hard.

Now I'm downright miserable. I realized I'm so miserable it's funny. Cos there's nothing emotional there, it's just this comic sense of misfortune that makes it seem so funny that I'm miserable. My life can be a soap opera. BLEAH...I need medical attention and I'm starting to wonder whether it'll be better if I just hospitalize myself so that I can get better faster.

Haha...yeah. Morbid thoughts reign again. lol

Back to more serious matters. I'm irritated with some people. Okay, maybe irritated is too strong, I'll just say...upset. People who don't appreciate what they have, people who complain about what they should be happy to have, people who perform in monochromed colored plays. It just annoys me. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST STOP PERFORMING FOR A WHILE...It gets boring after a while. A good story should be able to capture my attention. But these plays are simply monotonous. Not only are they in Black and White, the plots are so cliched. The twists they possess are treacherous but so extreme it loses reality and brings down the mood of the audience. The poor viewer is stuck there feeling lost and also not knowing what to feel or how to respond to the play. Seriously, these actors should just go out and get a life. Their playwrite sucks too.

To Kaihong: I'm really really sorry I whacked you so hard earlier. Don't die okay...my dear gay(which could also mean happy) ballerina. lol.

To Jinyue: RE: your recent blog entry.

True, everyone has their own sad stories. Maybe I'm too different from you. BUT. I will not 'open my heart' and 'set it free'. Ask Rong-en. He'll tell you I'm an intensely private person. Put all that aside...I know you are tired and moody and whatever...just don't say anything for now okay? I'm not that amused. Don't ask me why. Certain things, you shouldn't know.

Lately...people have been trying my temper. Too bad for them, I don't get pissed so easily. Spread scandals for all you want...it really doesn't infuriate me, actually I find it so amusing. I find myself smiling whenever I think about it. Just make sure it doesn't grow overboard until life becomes awkward. I'm all for making life a little more interesting, fun and spontaneous. WOOHOO!!!

I realized I haven't blogged since Monday. Haha....that was really random. Okay...bye for now...

2005-03-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

This was just so darn positively sweet I had to put it up here.

Taken from Amelia's blog actually. Amelia...don't come after me...

BUT IT'S SOOOOOOO awww-ish.

And it feels right to put it up here for my darling friends in 3F....with all the recent scandals. Hehheh...enjoy!

for the girls*

Find a guy who
>> calls you beautiful instead of hot
>> who calls you back when you hang up on him
>> who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the boy who
>> kisses your forehead
>> who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats
>> who holds your hand in front of his friends
>> who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.

Wait for the one
>> who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
>> Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

for the guys*

Find a girl who
>> calls you baby faced instead of hot or sexy
>> who can't stand it when you hang up on her and calls right back
>> who would sit there for hours looking into your eyes
>> who doesn't care what you look like, but what's inside counts the most
>> who looks at you with the twinkle in her eyes
>> kisses you on the cheek instead of the lips
>> wants to be with you in public
(even if you wear those old grass stained and ripped pants with the bleached jersey like always)

Wait for the girl who
>> is a constant reminder of your happiness and joy
>> who makes you smiles just by knowing she loves you back
>> who you give piggy back rides to in public and she still is in view of her friends
>> while she gets off and you hear her go: "you're the one for me, for always"

2005-03-28T19:14:00.000+08:00

So...Rong en was wrong about the 6 people. There were only 3 newbies. Okay lah, I don't know them well enough to conclude anything. I miss Jacqueline...meowmee...boohoo...

Since two of them have surnames in the top half of the alphabet, I got pushed 2 places down. I DON"T LIKE THAT AT ALL!!!! I wanted to stay at 11. I really wanted to. I was sooo praying last night that their surnames will start with M and after. Sighhh...meowmee...boohoo...

Yeah.

And someone was not happy because he was no longer sitting in between two girls..haha...so funny. But it really made my day.

I hate it when I'm coughing. Because everytime there's something funny going on, and everyone starts laughing, and I want to laugh, I start coughing instead of laughing. Which just upsets me because I have no freedom to express my own freaking emotions....meowmee...boohoo...

Gotta photocopy a complete set of notes for the new comers. Sighhh...more responsibilities. And I have to get it done before math tutorial tomorrow. BLEAH....my math tutor actually called me up at home to get me to do that. Bleah some more...

Sigh. My heart's fluttering...(insert secretive smile)

Wonder if it's because of all the medications or because of my thoughts. (private thoughts)

Coucil Interview tomorrow, I'm going to have to stone in school from 2 to 630 before it's my turn. I'm leaving everything up to fate. So GOD...please save me. I realized you haven't been listening to me for a long while...

Couldn't they have pushed me down to 17? Now I'm really not happy. Irregardless of all the merrymaking today.

RAHHH...

Jacqueline, Nick and Kanghao come back...heed my futile call....so that I can stay with my old register number... Sighhh....During Bio prac I'm gonna have to migrate to the other end of the lab, sad....I want my..********..sighhhh...

MEOWMEEEEEE....don't know why...I just suddenly miss someone, thus all the meowmee, cos I remember that of that person.

2005-03-27T18:51:00.000+08:00

Haha. Class picture on the last day we were still a class. Last Monday. (210305)

2005-03-27T17:21:00.000+08:00

Right.

My right brain hurts. Which explains the craziness in literature.

I really want to know who are those 6 people coming into class. Hopefully it's not really 6 people. Maybe it's 3? Oh God please...the class may not be so merry as it is now.

Rahhhh...

I think I need pure codeine to drug me out so I won't have to cough. I think I've lost weight coughing. I've also lost training days, which just means I'm screwed up for the upcoming competition. Especially if this cough doesn't improve and becomes bronchitis again. Nationals are a good ByeBye then. URGH...

Get well soon Matilda.

Antibiotics are not workkkkkiiinnnggg...

darn!

*****************************************************

HAPPIER THOUGHTS....

I was not born to be forced.
I will breathe after my own fashion....
if a plant cannot live according to its nature,it dies; and so a man.

This is so cooooool. I got this off a website which i was browsing through since I was entirely bored. And this poem was used to describe ME!!! I mean me along with fellow saggitarians. Yeah. But it's so me.

Read their description about sags...basically december sags. Not the November ones. Most of it just describes me...and I believe Sheena will be able to see it. Haha. Compliment there, dear....

I'm completely nuts now. So pardon the craziness.

Sagittarius, the ninth sign of the zodiac and last of the fire signs, is ruled by the planet Jupiter. This sign is symbolized by the Centaur with his bow and arrow poised to the heavens, and Sagittarians characteristically, are the very picture of that symbolism. Like brave stallions, they'll charge gallantly toward new vistas and bold challenges, forever seeking what is beyond the omnipresent horizon. Armed with the arrows of non-conformism, forthright honesty and a high-spirited optimism, these individuals never fail to hit their mark. Their targets are the ideals of truth, freedom, and righteousness, and the sights on their bows are forever aimed high. Much like the symbol of their sign, half man and half horse, the Sagittarian combines physical adroitness with intellectual refinement, and as much as these two aspects of personality seem to contradict one another, he manages to bring them to a compelling blend of unity. He is the fighter for social causes, the knight errant, who is willing to work tirelessly for that which he believes in, employing his fiery enthusiasm and abundant physical energy to the task. He is the newspaper editor, the politician, the publisher, preacher, or social activist wrestling with the social, political or moral issues of the day, and he tries to unify the incongruities of the human experience under the Jupiterian principles of truth and righteousness.

Of course, not all the Sagittarians you meet will remind you of Don Quixote, Frederick Nietzche, or even the editor of your local newspaper, but every Jupiter native will seem to have a definite philosophy of life. Whether home-grown truisms, moral ethics or deep philosophical concepts, the Sagittarian has a set of values by which he sincerely tries to live, and which by the way, he'll gladly share. Discover it for yourself next time you're at a party or social gathering where your Sagittarian friend is bound to make an appearance. Ask him what he thinks about abortion, racial prejudice or the upcoming elections, and you may find you've opened the Sagittarian Pandora's box. In fact, you'd better get a second helping of hors d'oeuvre and a full glass of punch before you ask, because your Sagittarian friend might keep you occupied for a time, and you'll look pretty silly holding one of those decorator toothpicks and an empty punch glass all the while. Not that you'd mind really, the Sagittarian's point of view can be pretty fascinating, filled with whimsical interjections and an occasional joke or two. His easy-going manner and down-home style never fail to draw a crowd, and his occasional smatterings of philosophical wisdom inextricably bound up in witty repartee will hold your interest until long after the hors d'oeuvre are gone.

All this talk about philosophy may give you an impression of Sagittarians as some sort of intellectual high-brows, methodically codifying people's behavior into rules or ethics by which they are supposed to live, but nothing could be further from the truth. There's no getting around their tendency to philosophize, but Jupiter natives will rarely try to force their values on you. "Live and let live," is one of their typical mottos, and they'll respect your philosophy so long as you respect theirs. Every once in a while, you'll meet a Jupiter native with conflicting aspects to his sun or natal Jupiter, who will try to impose his philosophy on you, but this is not generally the case. The typical native is as easy-going and down-to-earth as anyone you'd ever want to meet. Because of his appealing frankness and cheerful good humor, he'll probably win you over to his philosophy anyway without your realizing it. Just think of the home-grown humor and folksy style evidenced in the works of Sagittarian Mark Twain, or the ingratiating rapport Jupiterian Sammy Davis had with his audiences, and you'll easily understand these natives' ability to relate to every man.

It's fairly easy to recognize December-born once you know what to look for. The shape of the head will be somewhat longer in proportion to its width, and the forehead will be rather high and wide. The hairline is often receded and well back from the temples. The nose will be of average length or longer, pointing straight down from the brow, with a bridge that is fairly high. The lips will be mobile and expressive and may tend to fullness, and the chin will often be pointed, accenting a certain nobility of appearance. In many female Sag's, you'll easily be reminded of the sweet expression of a deer or fox. In the males, the facial characteristics will be marked by a certain look of pensiveness. In both sexes, there is an air of openness and frankness in the features, suggesting a mind that is alert and open to new ideas. The eyes will seem to shine and twinkle so merrily, you'll be reminded of 'good ole St. Nick' or the fairy godmother. The general expression suggests the cheerfulness and naivete of youth somehow inexpressibly combined with the wisdom of old age. As for the rest of the body, Sag's will tend to be taller than average with a well-knit or athletic-looking frame. The limbs will seem admirably suited for active pursuits of all kinds, and there will be a certain gracefulness characterized by long, sweeping and grandiose, though sometimes careless, movements.

Sagittarians will tend to be active, and their restless natures seem to keep them always on the go. You won't often find them sitting around a bridge table for hours or lazily lolling on a hammock in the backyard. The Sagittarian is more apt to be organizing activities for the church social, practicing for an up-coming tournament with the local bowling league, or writing an emotionally-heated letter to the editor of the local newspaper. Like their symbolic arrow, Sagittarians must always be moving forward and upward, setting their sights to a new challenge almost before an old one has been met. The Jupiterian athlete will no sooner do the 1000-meter run in two and a half minutes than have his sights set on two minutes twenty-five seconds as a new goal. The Sagittarian novelist may be working on several stories at once because a more intriguing idea for a novel captured his fancy before the old one had been completed. Because these natives have a need for constant challenge, they will often have many irons in the fire at once.

Sagittarians have a definite flair, especially in youth, for athletics and outdoor recreation of all types. "The great outdoors" is a phrase probably inspired by a December-born, for it expresses the very Sagittarian spirit of freedom one experiences out of doors and among Nature's creatures. Horseback-riding, camping, hiking, canoeing, rafting, mountain-climbing, hunting, and skiing are some activities which attract Sagittarians by the droves and which give vent to their unbridled sense of freedom. Most of them are Nature lovers, preferring life in the rural and mountain areas to the hustle and bustle of city life. If you don't find them already situated permanently in their own place secluded from the crowds, they'll probably be weekend outdoorsmen, venturing to the 'wide open spaces' every chance they get.

In athletics, Sagittarians will be most attracted to baseball, basketball, soccer, gymnastics, track and field, bowling, golf, polo, volleyball, tennis and other sports where a high degree of refinement, grace, or skill are required. Sports such as football, wrestling, boxing, sky diving or auto racing, where a certain amount of physical danger is involved, do not usually appeal to them, with the occasional exception of boxing, where fancy footwork is an asset. As the last of the fire signs, Sagittarius represents physical activity in its highest form. In Aries, physical movement is characterized as sheer force; in Leo, as creative self-expression. In Sagittarius, the qualities of both these signs are combined in a physical expression which is more refined, where stamina, coordination, and a strong sense of the game are brought into play.

It is a curious twist of irony that Sagittarians, who are often accused of clumsiness, are also attributed with having the greatest grace and physical coordination. They can be quite graceful when engaged in purposeful activity such as sports, gymnastics, or dance. You'll see them, like spirited colts, gracing the athletic field or dance floor with splendid examples of physical form, many excelling in their respective fields. In everyday activities, however, the Sagittarian can be surprisingly less dignified. Though the Jupiterian athlete may break the record for high jump, springing like a gazelle to new heights, he'll stumble over his shoelaces walking onto the field. The Sagittarian ballerina may execute pirouettes with perfect form on stage, but stub her toe on the kitchen table at home. Where these characteristics may seem contradictory, they somehow find a happy coexistence in the Sagittarian personality. It is as if these natives will perform at their best only when spurred on by their goals and the Jupiterian ideal of excellence.

In dance, Sagittarians may well find the perfect outlet for their senses of rhythm, timing and balance and love of physical activity. Well developed thighs have often been regarded the trademark of a dancer, and appropriately enough, this part of the body is ruled by Jupiter. You'll rarely find Jupiterians who aren't light on their feet, and whether they prefer ballet, modern, tap, jazz or square dancing, they're likely to become the center of attention on any dance floor. If a stranger asks you for a dance at a local discotheque, you might do well to ask his or her Sun sign before accepting. If it's Sagittarius, you may be made to feel as if you have two left feet. Don't let that unassuming manner or awkward appearance fool you. On the dance floor Sagittarians become transformed, artfully turning their steps to a rumba or tango, or pulsing to the sound of rock with equal finesse.

Sagittarians, as a rule, are non-conformists. They hate being bound to rigid social confines, or pigeonholed into strict routines that don't give them plenty of breathing room. Most of them will tend toward outdoor occupations or professions where a wide latitude of freedom is given them. They'll eschew the suit and tie or standard business attire and prefer a comfortable shirt or blouse and a pair of jeans instead. Their love of freedom is too great to compromise for the sake of social custom or even for financial need. They'll hearken to the beat of a different drummer, their own rhythm, as true and unerring as the power of Jupiter itself. Even more than physical restrictions, they'll loathe mental confinement. Try to impose a dogmatic philosophy on them, and most Sagittarians will balk. If the policies of the company they work for are too restrictive, they'll have to break free. Their non-conformism in part stems from a desire to remain idealistic in a world where others may not share their Jupiterian dreams.Second only to his love of freedom is the Sagittarian's fondness for travel. The archer loves nothing more than to pack up his old set of luggage, probably well-worn from dozens of trips, and set out either across country or to distant lands. He's genuinely intrigued by foreign cultures, and his fascination for the exotic may well lead him to occupations dealing in travel, language, foreign culture, import-export, currency exchange, archeology, zoology and others. Many archers will succeed through correspondence, sales, or trips to other countries before they find fortune in their own country. Where finances don't permit it physically, Sagittarians may travel in their minds, becoming engrossed in movies, documentaries or books about other countries, or in studying a foreign language. More than likely they'll have a subscription to National Geographic or a travel magazine. They may dream about someday seeing some of the world's great landmarks— the Taj Mahal of India, the Great Pyramids of Egypt, the Basilica in Rome, Stonehenge or the Great Wall of China to name a few. Finances and time permitting, and with a bit of Jupiterian luck which is their birthright, they probably will.

AGREE SHEENA????

HAHA....

Incoherence...

2005-03-26T14:58:00.000+08:00

Just shut up and admire this
Things just started appearing from the middle of nowhere.

The blue square slab suddenly stood up and slotted itself conveniently into a pod racer. Suddenly, both screamed as the blades whirred. Then silence. The inerts of the blue slab was available for all to see.

The little princess dressed in a pink chiffon dress sprouted wings and flew into a sock. She stretched and struggled till the sock tore. A thousand strands of string floating loosely in the air. Thick with a sense of fear.

Then a tiny figure rose from the debris, swirling so rapidly one could only catch a glimpse of the wings that were flapping oh-so hard they threatened to fall off anytime.

Music burst from a faraway land, so intoxicating, and the figure bounced off the ground, picking up the cold inerts of the previously exploded blue slab.

The music stopped.
The figure stopped.
And suddenly everything just collapsed.
And shattered into a million pieces.
No one knew what happened to them except their creator, who was also their destroyer.

Nothing was left. Everything disappeared as quickly as they came.
Except a ruffled chiffon dress lying half covered with shreds of string.

Okay....my thoughts are disturbing. HAHA....it's kinda funny actually. If you replay it a few times in your head.

2005-03-26T09:47:00.000+08:00

You are Gold Pegasus, who is extremely cheerful and seems like a very open person.

You can show consideration to others, and have a good sense of humor.

You are also a person who doesn't want to lose. (Who wants to lose?! Unless there's a catch to winning.)

However, you can be very temperamental, and can suddenly become optimistic, and next minute you are very pessimistic. (OH welllllll.....)

You look for fancy atmosphere in daily life, but you know that is only to cover up for your own dissatisfaction and discontent.

You possess unworldly bilateral character. (Have no idea what this means. Japanese broken english.)

You have very unique personality, and people who like you and those who don't are clearly divided.

You tend to be audacious, but you must be careful when you use it. Because Gold Pegasus people tend to be divided into those who exhibit great talent and those who can go stray from the right path.

Unlike your confident attitude, you are rather too nervous, sensitive and can easily change or give up your objectives.

Your natural instinct is fabulous, and you have a passionate personality.

You tend to lead life with lots of emotional ups and downs.

You dislike being restricted, and prefer to enjoy freedom, and this will not change even after you get married. Therefore there is a chance of you getting divorced. (ARGH! What is this?!)

Okay.It's quite true. But not so good too.....:) HAAHAHA

2005-03-26T09:23:00.000+08:00

I'm in such deep trouble. I'm not getting any better, and can't go for training. That should be something to rejoice for but.... the competitions are starting again next week. I won't be fit enough by then. And I know they signed me up because yesterday Kitfei called me at 23.47 to ask for my birthday so that they could complete the form for National Juniors. I'm screwed up.

Please let the antibiotics do their work before Monday. And I'm gonna have to face the wrath of N.A.F. Let's just hope he's in a good mood this time and doesn't scream at me for taking M.C when I'm sick. Oh, the IRONY!

I can imagine the antibodies fighting the bacteria. Like white lumps tumbling down the valleys of my viens and arteries chasing green blobs.

"ARGH!!!! RUN.....Run....RUN...before those white stuff..."

BURP

Eat us up.

BURRRPPPPPPPP.....

Okay, that was way too corny and graphic.

I just hope I'm not developing bronchitis all over again. I was down for 1 entire term the last time. Cough,cough....sighhhhhhh.

2005-03-25T09:08:00.000+08:00

Yesterday wasn't a very good day either.

First thing in the morning, meaning after flag raising, we gathered in the indoor gym. They wanted to teach the school song, cheers and everything, but most of the first intakers ended up playing cards. And there were some stupid boys, who started screaming like little girls, I swear it doesn't make them seem anymore manly or attractive.

After that we had wargames. They weren't exactly very fun and I was a tad bored. But Tzerruph won some games, so I can't say anything about them anymore. If anyone was very observant, they'd have noticed 4 boys dressed in white uniforms (a mixture of RI and new RJC uniforms) playing cards and listening to walkmans at the lower canteen. Yes. They were my classmates. Who skipped almost the entire morning of O2.

After all the stuff we had to do with our respective OGs. 3F people came together and pangseh our OGs by going for lunch as a class instead. We ended up late for the briefing, and thus also leaving late for CIP.

CIP WAS MISERABLE...perhaps in total I earned only 2.80. We were so stoned. ARGH>>>>>>>>

And by the time we reached dreams @ Kolam Ayer, I had lost my voice completely. Even though I didn't scream or anything for the whole day. So I went home for dinner early, shared a cab with Jason. Ha! I make a good business woman. Shan't elaborate.

Went home, showered, suffered a headache and no voice, ate, felt so dead I went to sleep. Slept from 6.45 to 11.15 and woke up in a shock. Iced my poor little finger, drank loads of water, went online, went offline, read my novel, and went to sleep again at about 1? Yes....and I woke up at 7 plus this morning.

Yes....Life just sucks right now. I think I need to see a doctor again today. And send my uniform for alterations too. No voice still....and coughing out balls of phlegm. BLEAH

2005-03-23T18:53:00.000+08:00

MY FINGER!

The horrid digit has swelled to the size of 1000digits. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!When I press it, it's hard and turgid. WHA BIANG!!!

And icing it didn't really do much of a miracle. Judging by it's current appearance. Bleagh!!!

Orientation 2 was a complete mess. So boring. The 3FOG is much better....YAY! BORING! Just sit there and stone, sulk or whine for the whole day. Only thing that was great was lunch, dismissal, and skipping OG activites with 3F people.

HAIYAH! Tomorrow, I highly doubt anyone will consider buying those keychains for 5 bucks. 5 BUCKS for something that is probably worth not more than 35 cents. Sure...charity means something. BUT STILL....no one will buy them. They'll willingly donate 2 bucks and if we even try saying, "Donate 3 more dollars, you'll get a free keychain!" They'll probably not even bat an eyelid and say, "I'd rather not take the keychain!"

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SELL THEM?!

2005-03-21T17:51:00.000+08:00

Argh....I have a fever.
Rightnow, even after a cold shower, I'm still at 38 degrees celcius. Not good at all. I'll probably burn my brains out soon. But I don't want to go to the doctors, want to watch TV and use computer.

Lame excuse for not taking care of my health. I know...

Right now, feeling downright miserable.

SIGH...

wahaha. wasting time

2005-03-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

You Have A Type A- Personality

A-

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

2005-03-19T21:13:00.000+08:00

YAY!!!!!!!!!!

I have a bronze medal from today!!!!

Unexpected yeah?

I thought we were screwed up with me in the team. What's more fourth runner!!! BUT....thanks to Kitfei...and maybe Joella, we beat VJC.

We lost to NJC and SAS though...the Americans were like so tall and muscular. And Kitfei and Joella were muscular too....Me...on the other hand, never do weights at all, so, quite weak lah. And slow also, train too much cross-country. But it was a great improvement from last monday. YAY!

Monday go back to cross again....sigh. But at least got nicer people...:)

2005-03-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Sentosa. Feel tired, so I don't know what I'm doing blogging when I should be sound asleep. I suppose it's because I'm waiting for my hair to dry. I wasn't in a very good mood after we got back to Singapore mainland. Tiredness had eaten into me and I was feeling cranky. So all I had for dinner was Mango Ice Kachang at the Plaza Singapura, cut throat prices. Bleagh!

For most of the day we were playing handball, captain's ball, soccer, volleyball and cards. I should say cards took up most of the time, so halfway through I was wondering what's the point of coming to sentosa if we were just sitting around playing cards.

I was wading through the water and building sand castles. Actually they were more like sand heaps, which I hacked to bits after the tide started to rise. Better I ruin them than the sea. The seawater was really salty and they were stinging my lips. But still wished I had a chair in the water which I could sit on, and just keep my head above the surface of the water. That'd be great!

For most part of the day, I sort of wanted to stay dry. But I also wanted to be wet. I decided to stay dry, so that I could still play all the ball games and card games without dripping seawater on whoever was sitting near me. Running on sand for more than 12 hours was no easy task, granted that my legs are still aching from the improper use of spike shoes, since Monday. So being dry was a wise choice, no added weight yeah?

At 5 plus, Me, Cherie, Roxanne, Jonathan, Jacqueline, Zhiwei, Rongen and PengFei were playing water bombs. It wasn't a really successful game, but at least we all got wet. Which was my aim of the day. LOL. I had pails of water poured on me, leaving me shrieking in glee...perhaps? I was drenched, really. Someone, I think it was Zhiwei, who started it by dunking that pail of water on me. And after getting hit by water, everyone, started dunking pails of water at me. It was fun...some kind of sadistic fun, but still FUN...haha. I even had sand in my underwear. Ewww...LOL

We (not everyone) went for dinner at Plaza Singapura. And we were trying to chase people away from their tables so we could sit, eat and rest our aching legs. It was quite a comedy watching us pretend to talk loudly so that others would get the hint and move away. Finally we were all seated. My table (me, roxanne, Jacq and Jonathan) was quite stone. We were just staring at or past each other, or talking nonsense. After a while, Jonathan started fiddling with his camera and tried to record a video. Not a good attempt, I must say. We were just covering our faces...and I still was in a cranky mood. Yeahhhh...

Left for MRT to reach home at let's say 8.50. I was stuck with the guys, since Roxanne and Jacqueline were both taking the NEL. The guys were all saying that Jonathan's sister was very pretty, basically they were bullying him. I had mixed feelings at that moment, hovering between whether I should laugh or shield him. In the end, i sort of made them stop bullying him, in a way, though they were still teasing...and i was laughing too. Weird...

I just feel like protecting people everytime they get bullied. Yet I'm never able to protect myself. WTH....

Whatever lah! At last I got home. And took a shower. And I'm having a sms conversation with Jon Foo as I speak now. A funny one. LOL...haha. Sheena don't kill me. HAHAHA....evil wink.

Sigh...I enjoyed today. I'm gonna watch TV!!!

2005-03-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

I'm not in the right mind again. I guess imsomnia does this to a person. I've been not falling asleep or waking up continually. Sigh. The world is a sad depressing place sometimes. There's a dull ache in my head and my eyes are drooping slightly. I'm daydreaming too much, and not doing what I should be doing. Instead, I feel like writing poems and stories. I'm not even an Art student. Bleagh.

The weather's killing me right now. Why won't it ever rain! I thought when spring started there was supposed to be rain. Now it just feels like a desert in here. Even with the air-conditioner on I feel warm. I just hope I'm not falling sick or anything. N.A.F will just take my life (or what's left of it) from me. I figured if I go through not-sleeping phases yearly, I'll probably chop off 20 years of my life. Plus all that added effects from broken limbs, weak lungs and low blood pressure, we can just take another 5 off. One day I need to have a serious talk with you, whoever is deciding my fate.

The haze in the area is also not helping me. It's just making my head ache more and make me feel like sleeping. Problem is: when I finally get to bed, I fall asleep for 20 minutes and wake up again. Urgh!

Maybe I'll fall asleep at Sentosa tomorrow. And probably get sand and water dumped all over me. Good Lord!

I've also had it with this computer. The darn internet access keeps toggling between on and off, on it's own. Somehow, someway the computer automatically stops me from checking hotmail or logging on into MSN. There's nothing interesting left for me to read online, and there's nothing interesting left for me to do online. I'm sick of schoolwork, or any other work for that matter, and I'm sick of training too. All I want to do is grab someone and go to Disneyland. I want to scream my head off all those rides, granted I'll kill a few braincells here and there. I also hope I get to soak myself in the rain or snow if available.

I'm sick of going out of the house, but I'm also sick of staying at home. I'm sick of this super slack lifestyle I'm leading, but I'm also sick of working.

I want to read my storybook but my eyes are hurting so badly it hurts to stare at tiny words in a book. My arms are also aching it is difficult to keep the book spine from coming together. I feel like moving about but my legs are still cramping up despite the amount of muscle relieve gel I've lathered on it I can't.

And when I want to write something creative, nothing comes out from the dried up well in my barbequed head. Maybe it's the sun. Maybe it's the heat. Whatever.

I also want a new pencil case to replace the old one. BUT...I'm too emotionally attached to be old one I don't want to change it.

I'm miserable. Really.

And for the record, Katong is really far away from Bukit Gombak.

2005-03-17T15:07:00.000+08:00

Stupid Stupid me....

Took down the date of the neurology thing but forgot about the time and place and everything else. Therefore, I couldn't make it. BECAUSE it's right now...and guess what? I'm still at home. Woohoo!

Gotta buy cheese for the entire class later tonight. grrr...why Zhiwei tell me now? WHY ME? in the first place.

Grouchy ol' me.

2005-03-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

Yeah, so there weren't enough people to form a 4X400m team. I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. Disappointed cos I wouldn't get to run 400m and relive history, relieved because I didn't have to run and embarass myself badly.

At the end of training, the coach decided that I was going to run the 200m relay. I was shocked...like...what?! And he said, just take it like training, hopefully it's straight finals then no need to run twice. He is so unlike N.A.F...woah!

Had dinner at YMCA today, now I'm feeling bloated (1 hour later) and a little pukish. Bleah...shouldn't have eaten 4 meals...sigh.

Looking forward to class outing. Although I'm still indecisive as to whether I'll be going. Still hesitant about everything. Last minute decisions always come my way. Yeah...bleagh.

2005-03-15T19:20:00.000+08:00

Watched Lemony Snicket's a Series of Unfortunate Events with Cheegake today. The show was okay, and not that fantastic. But I enjoyed myself nonetheless. Lately there hasn't been anything melodramatic to watch. Sigh. Can the Box Office hurry up and screen something sweet? I'm waiting...

My legs are aching. So I just put some Salonpas analgesic gel. So now, my legs are high...but my hand is burning up. MY GOD!!! I've washed it a thousand times with soap and it's still a little sticky. Argh. AND it's gone cold...yuck.

Bleah....CIP tomorrow. As well as training. Meaning I'll be out from 7 plus to 8 at night. Sigh. Another day wasted.

Went back to NY to hand in the Outstanding Award Reply Slip. Decided to check the NY track board for my competition times. If RJ doesn't want to proactively tell me when my competition is, I'll go to my secondary school to find out. SO...i realized that if I really am running the 4X200 and 4x400, I'm dead. Really. There's 4X2 heats first, followed almost immediately by 4X4 straight finals, after than 4X2 finals. Yupyup....I'm dead. Straight Finals and they're sending me in? What kind of twisted sick sense of logic is that? And all the races are almost consequetive. SIgh...this sucks! And the fact that I've not been training for 3/4 years doesn't help it either. DARN!

2005-03-14T21:48:00.001+08:00

You know something? I'm really silly. Silly enough to forget to take breaks. Workaholic man...

Can't believe, me...the big time slacker of the entire universe when it comes to trainings, actually forgot to take breaks inbetween my runs. Just went 100m fast, then walked to 150m mark and zoomed off. Repeated the walking back thing to the 200m, 250m and 300m mark. DUMB....I died for the 250m and 300m. So tiring. My butt was aching badly and i pushed myself on just so i could without guilt say i completed everything. 61s for 300m....i was doing 47s last year. Really big diff...

I hope it'll all work out.

Back to the MSN thing I was ranting about earlier...
I noticed that we each have our own patterns online. Nick and I crap a bit too much. For him, I dunno what's his problem. For me, I just happen to have revelations everytime a certain word or phrase comes out, and just type it out. For Jonathan, he speaks in 1-syllable words. Like "Oh well" and "Can't be helped lo..." things like that. Some people get obsessed with what they're saying, some are passive.

Oh! And I still cannot figure out Jonathan's nick. We all can tell it's about a certain girl....which leaves things suspicious and scandalous. Just that we don't know him close enough to know who that 'her' is...AND...we don't dare to ask him. Haha. Wish I knew some gossip queen/king who would tell me. Kaypoh. LOL

The trackers are a whole different breed of people from the crossers. The crossers are much sweeter, kinder, soft-spoken people. We have people like Wingyee who i find a complete dear, people like Yvonne who may be naughty but still has a certain amount of discipline and kindness, and we also have people like Grace, the split personality kind, sometimes quiet, sometimes not. But on the whole, we don't have the kind of bimboticness the trackers have.

Some of them are just so superficial and fake. I find them fake, I don't know why. But it's the kind where you speak to them for a while and walk away with a general deep dislike, even though you don't know them all that well and they haven't done anything bad against you. They're rowdy, somewhat not disciplined, really not sweet at all, and I daresay, not the type who would welcome you with open arms.

Although I really want to do track, I don't want to be associated with them. I mean, I completely cannot stand running longdistance. BUT....the people I am close with are all there. Maybe it's because I was there first and I'm not the kind who ignores people, that's why we all stick. Or maybe because I'm not really a tracker I can't relate to them. But I'm not really a crosser too. Where does that leave me? Hanging? Maybe it's because the cross seniors are the kind who are glad to have juniors and make an effort to speak to them. The trackers really stick to themselves, and don't well....talk much to me, at least.

A friendly desposition can entertain me for a while, but how long before I really feel miserable there? That's the whole problem with not having real teammates. Real as in those who will run the same events as you and train with you all the time. I like Wingyee...i really do. She's really sweet and we are good friends, but she won't be there with me when I cross over to track for Track season. I might not even get to train with the cross people after this year, if they want me to stick to Track only. I won't be complaining about the training, but about the people there. It's really different. Bad different.

Sigh...strangely I always manage to get myself into such predicaments. Why?

2005-03-14T11:31:00.000+08:00

I have such boring friends. When we communicate online, the conversations are basically dead. Or, we are too preoccupied with whatever we are doing. Like homework, blogging, computer games(football manager)/(neopets). So the conversation flops worse than a limp piece of spaghetti.

And then, after that, we all start to log out of MSN. So there's basically no one left to talk to. Or...our sentences go like this.

"Right."
"Yeah."
"Okay..."
"..."
"So how?"
"I dunno."
"sigh."
"Yeah."
"whatever."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"I have to go."
"Oh. Okay. Bye."
"Bye."
So.....we are boring people. I suppose.

Unless you count in Nick Ng, who uses excessive amounts of smiley faces. But the rest of the conversation (minus away smiley faces) are like the above sample.

Rawr! I don't know if i should be looking forward to training with the sprinters later. Sure the work out is more fun. BUT....the people are a whole different story. I bet I'll be alone for most of the training session...sigh

Double sigh.

2005-03-13T21:12:00.000+08:00

argh! Damn it! Respond to my SMS larh!!!!

How else am I supposed to know what time training is tomorrow???

If i get there late or don't show up at all, Mr Quek will have my hide for his armchair! WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhyyyyy?

Quick, quick, reply leh...

sheesh...i'm doomed if she doesn't reply by tonight.

2005-03-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

WHEEE....

I'm going nuts. Obviously.

Can't think straight.

Something's gone in there, affected the sequence, unbalanced the equation, cut the bridge into half.

It's all screwloose. Something once so peaceful, is now a bunch of short-circuited wires. The copper is melting, spilling across the marble tiles. Acid is eating at the tiles slowly, painfully.

I've got an headache. Yeah....

What was that all about?

I don't know, something just possessed me to type that bunch of horrible prose. I'm the lousiest author on earth. haha....LOL.

HMMMMmmmmmmmm.....so freaking bored.

Witless, really.

Homework is a bore too.

AAHHHAHAHAHA....heheee

2005-03-12T20:45:00.000+08:00

Of all delectable islands the Neverland is the snuggest and most compact, not large and sprawly, you
know, with tedious distances between one adventure and another, but nicely crammed. When you paly at it by day with the chairs and tablecloth, it is not in the least alarming, but in the two minutes before you go to sleep it becomes very real. That is why there are night-lights.

Occasionally in her travels through her children's minds Mrs. Darling found things she could not understand, and of these quite the most perplexing was the word Peter. She knew of no Peter, and yet he was here and there in John and Michael's minds, while Wendy's began to be scrawled all over with him. The name stood out in bolder letters than any of the other words, and as Mrs. Darling gazed she felt that it had an oddly cocky appearance.

*****************************

Ha! Although i was one of those nearer to the back...i wasn't last!!! YAY! And I managed to complete the race without stopping at all, and managed to sprint at the last 30 or so meters catching up with the JJC people!!! See...this is what happens when you put sprinters in the cross team. While others are going consistently at one pace, they run fast and slow, fast and slow, and although they end up at the back, can sprint faster than those people ahead of them! HAHA...moral: don't put sprinters in the cross team. They really pull down your ranking and the only part of their run that you notice is the last few meters where they have nice beautiful strides.

NO wayening. She cannot go on telling the whole world about me, or I'll never be able to step back in NY again. Mahlu-ating. Everyone will start knowing her as Hitlerina, and before you know it, all my teachers and the office people will also start calling me that. Then...I DIE. Really.

I wanna watch the series of unfortunate events...yay!

I'm gonna die for the next 2 trainings....sure...sprint like crazy lorh. Die liaoz...so long never train speed. I'll probably end up doing the sprint for the last 100 meters thing again. Which got me killed by Miss Tan last year during relays...so, basically, I'm doomed.

Yvonne says I must stop being so pessimistic. Haha....can't help it. After all, I'm the complain queen. And the J2s think they have another Grace in the making. Haha...don't know whether to laugh or cry. I think she's sane, the others think she's not. Oh dear.....Yvonne is no where near sane too...she shouldn't say anything. LOL....

Physically and mentally tired. I'll have a good sleep tonight. Definitely.

Holidays.Don't like them.

2005-03-12T11:04:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh...competition in another few hours. I bet I'll be one of those at the back. It's absolute, without argument. SHIT....I should have just gone for CIP instead. Instead of going for a competition I'm completely not prepared for and will just lag behind the rest. Looks like I'm the slowest cross-country runner where ever I go. Darn.

Today marks the start of the holidays. I don't have to wake up at 5.50. Yay. Thank God. Right now my eyes are just twitching in pain, they are craving for a larger dose of sleep. Which was not given.

Need to go back to NY one day soon. Sigh. So far away. And I have to wear school u too. Irritating. They might not let me in otherwise. 18th march is the end of this week. Ehhhh...

Stupid. There's so much to do in the Holidays. I don't want to do any. But it's inevitable i have to start on some of it. Rather than slack slack slack the whole week. hmmmmmmmm....

Mrs Soh is telling all my juniors about me. Juniors I don't even know. What the hell??? One day I'll go back and if I hear loads of whispers, I know who to find and skin alive. eek.

2005-03-11T17:57:00.000+08:00

Of course the Neverlands vary a good deal. John's, for instance, had a lagoon with flamingoes flying over it at which John was shooting, while Michael, who was very small, had a flamingo with lagoons flying over it. John lived in a boat turned upside down on the sands, Michael in a wigwam, Wendy in a house of leaves deftly sewn together. John had no friends, Michael had friends at nigh, Wendy had a pet wolf forsaken by it's parents, but on the whole the Neverlands have a family resemblance, and if they stood still in a row you could say of them that they have each other's nose, and so forth. On these magic shores children at play are for ever beaching their coracles. We too have been there; we can still hear the sound of the surf, though we shall land no more.

**************************************

Argh...my stomach's grumbling.

Today, I was woozy. Fell half asleep (the kind when you can still hear what's going on but your eyes refuse to open and your brain's half switched off) during Physics. Blatantly. I was sitting next to the OHP, where the teacher was standing. Everyone was staring at me for some point of time or another, surprised at the conspicuity of my siesta.

Then Ms Siew gave us a break. So, i decided it was time to take a walk to wake up a little. Went to Zhiwei's table and sat at Jon Foo's place since he wasn't there. Talked a little crap with Sheena next to me and started writing on Jonathan's paper. I wrote the mug mug mug thing and before I was done he walked back from the toilet. URGH....but he was all,"Matilda, what are you doing?". And I couldn't help it. I just laughed and wrote some more. So I created the kitchen constellation. Starting off with the MUG...and it linked to the cup, bowl, spoon, plate...etc...and ended with fan4 tong2. I labelled it Jon Foo. He went," Oyyyyy...." which made me laugh even more. Then he said, "you fa1 shao1 is it?" And I laughed even more.

That's what feeling sleepy and tired during lesson makes you do. Become completely cranky and feel the need to disturb some one. Today's target: Jon Foo. Too bad for him. But he didn't erase the constellation in the end. I offered to erase whatever I had done to deface his work, but apparently he wants to keep it there. So be it. He'll definitely grin every time he see's it. Which is what I always do when there's some sentimental and stupid by hilarious doodle drawn by friends on my stuff.

I hope our class can stay together. Except maybe some exceptions. Yeah....we are a cool and unique bunch. Not to mention HOT....

If you see any weird behavior, like hopping about madly, laughing hysterically, pulling of hair, whatever, it's most likely our class. We are a fun bunch. I can't say I'm completely emotionally attached to everyone, but at least to a few. Which is good. Really.

Race tomorrow. I'm so dead. Sigh.

I'm still feeling light-headed from today. Wonder why.

2005-03-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

It is the nughtly custom of every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can't) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up the drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread outyour prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.

I don't know whether you have ever seen a map of a person's mind. Doctors sometimes draw maps of other parts of you, and your own map can become intensely interesting, but catch them trying to draw a map of a child's mind, which is not only confused, but keeps going round all the time. There are zigzag lines on it, just like your temperature on a card, and these are probably roads in the island, for the Neverland is always more or less an island, with astonishing splashes of color here and there, and coral reefs and rakish-looking craft in the offing, and savages and lonely lairs, and gnomes who are mostly tailors, and caves through which a river runs, and princes with six elder brothers, and a hut fast going to decay, and one very small old lady with a hooked nose. It would be an easy map if that were all, but there is also first day at school, religion, fathers, the round pond, needle-work, murders, hangings, verbs that take the dative, chocolate pudding day, getting into braces, say ninety-nine, three-pence for pulling out your tooth yourself, and so on, and either these are part of the island or they are another map showing through, and it is all rather confusing, especially as nothing were stand still.

*********************************

Okay, training was absolutely tiring today. Imagine 55 mins of continuous running. With like 15 minutes of fart-leg, which totally killed me off after the first lap. URGH.

Decided to go for the turf-city competition in the end...to stop controversy and prove to myself how lousy I am at cross.

Thank God there's an SPH relay next week. Phew, finally get to sprint. YAY!! But the big fat problem is that I haven't been doing speed work in half a year, whatever was there is now demolished. AND I ONLY HAVE 2 FREAKING TRAINING SESSIONS TO REBUILD IT!

Unless I'm on steroids, I can't do it. Will probably die of lactic acid halfway.Eek.

BUT....it's a good change anyway. Instead of running aimlessly around a track a million times, and yet, displacement equals naught. Haha.

Yvonne said Grace and I clicked. Because we're both super lame and hyper people, and think about the same kind of nonsense. Wingyee also said that. Haha. Then Grace and I started joking again and then laughed some more. During most of the warm up, we were just high...talking rubbish and running. Which just deems us as crazy, because who the hell runs 25 minutes and laughs and talks constantly. That makes me crazy.

After training, Yvonne said I looked drunk. The truth was, I felt tipsy and woozy. I couldn't walk straight, when I lifted one leg up it couldn't come down until much effort was put in, and I couldn't even open a bottle of orange juice. I even thought a moving plastic bag was a kitten. Haha. Maybe I was really drunk, after over-consumption of water. joker.

Hmmm....tomorrow's the last day of the term. Should I be glad? Because it just means that next term will be a hell load of work and stress and jammed-packed schedule. Sigh.

The princess of Brunei came to RJ today. I only caught a glimpse of her. All I saw was a rather good figure and a heavily made up face. Haha. Not that much of a compliment. But everyone at the library was craning their heads to see how she looked like.

I've also concluded that the librarian is a floating ghost. She just appears from floor to floor so silently and quickly you'll never notice. Haha.

OH...and Jon Foo is fun to tease. Haha. Feel like laughing everytime I see him, because he self-proclaims that he's a girl. Hilarious.

So, that concludes today.

2005-03-07T20:40:00.000+08:00

"Remember mumps," he warned her almost threateningly, and off he went again. "Mumps one pound, that is what I have put down, but I daresay it will be more like thirty shillings--don't speak, measles one five, German measles half a guinea, makes two fifteen six--don't waggle your finger--whooping cough, say fifteen shillings"--and so on it went, and it added up differently each timel but at last Wendy just got through, with mumps reduced to twelve six, and the two kinds of measles treated as one.

There was the same excitement over John, and Michael had even a narrower squeak; but both were kept, and soon, you might have seen the three of them going in a row to Miss Fulsom's kindergarten school, accompanied by their nurse.

Mrs. Darling loved to have everything just so, and Mr. Darling had a passion for being exactly like his neighbors; so, of course, they had a nurse. As they were poor, owing to the amount of milk the children drank, this nurse was a prim Newfoundland dog, calle Nana, who had belonged to no one in particular until the Darlins engaged her. She had always thought children important, however, and the Darlings had become acquainted with her in Kensington Gardens, where she spent most of her spare time peeping into perambulators, and was much hated by careless nursemaids, whom she followed to their homes and complained of to their mistresses. She proved to be quite a treasure of a nurse. How thorough she was at bathtime, and up at any moment of the night if one of her charges made the slightest cry. Of course her kennel was in the nursery. She had a genius for knowing when a cough is a thing to have no patience with and when it needs stocking around your throat. She believed to her last day in old-fashioned rememdies like rhubarb leaf, and made sounds of contempt over all this new-fangled talk about germs, and so on. It was a lesson in propriety to see her escorting hte children to school, walking sedately by their side when they were well behaved, and butting them back into line if they strayed. On John's footer days she never once forgot his sweater, and she usually carried an umbrella in her mouth in case of rain. There is a room in the basement of Miss Fulsom's school where the nurses wait. They sat on forms, while Nana lay on the floor, but that was the only difference. They affected to ignore her as of an inferior social status to themselves, and she despised their light talk. She resented visits to the nursery from Mrs. Darling's friends, but if they did come she first whipped off Michael's pinafore and put him into the one with blue braiding, and smoothed out Wendy and made a dash at John's hair.

No nursery could possibly have been conducted more correctly, and Mr. Darling knew it, yet he sometimes wondered uneasily whether the neighbours talked.

He had his position in the city to consider.

Nana also troubled him in another way. He had sometimes a feeling that she did not admire him. "I know she admires you tremendously, George," Mrs. Darling would assure him, and then she would sign to the children to be specially nice to father. Lovely dances followed, in which the only other servant, Liza, was sometimes allowed to join. Such a midget she looked in her long skirt and maid's cap, though she had sworn, when engaged, that she would never see ten again. The gaiety of those romps! And gayest of all was Mrs. Darling, who would pirouette so wildly that all you could see of her was the kiss, and then if you had dashed at her you might have got it. There never was a simpler happier family until the coming of Peter Pan.

***********************************

Okay..haha. Got through first round of council elections. I can forsee that this journey is going to be a treacherous one. But enlightening. I HOPE...

Sigh. Need to do my Math and Physics. HOW TO DO QUESTION 11 AND 12??? Urgh.

Wahaha...CT was quite pissed at some people today. Could see from the expression on his face. Priceless. Nevermind. All I can say is that if they don't watch it, and go overboard, they are in deep trouble. Quite obvious, really.

Yep yep. Nothing much to say about today. Except that I was guai for most of it. Hmmm...that's all.

I suppose.

2005-03-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

All children, except one, grew up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day, when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this for ever!" This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end.

Of course they lived at 14, and until Wendy came her mother was the chief one. she was a lovely lady, with a romantic mind and such a sweet mocking mouth. Her romantic mind was like the tiny boxes, one within the other, that come from the puzzling East, however many you discover there is always one more; and her sweet mocking mouth had one kiss on it that Wendy could never get, though there it was, perfectly conspicuous in the right-hand corner.

The way Mr. Darling won her was this: the many gentleman who had been boys when she was a girl discovered simultaneously that they loved her, and they all ran to her house to propose to her except Mr. Darling, who took a cab and nipped in first, and so he got her. He got all of her, except the innermost box and the kiss. He never knew about the box, and in time he gave up trying for the kiss. Wendy thought Napoleon could have got it, but I can picture him trying, and then going off in a passion, slamming the door.

Mr. Darling used to boast to Wendy that her mother not only loved him but respected him. He was one of those deep ones who know about stocks and shares. Of course no one really knows, buthe quite seemed to know, and he often said stocks were up and shares were down in a way that would have made any woman respect him.

Mrs. Darling was married in white, and at first she kept the books perfectly, almost gleefully, as if it were a game, not so much as a Brussels sprout was missing; but by and by whole cauliflowers dropped out, and instead of them there were pictures of babies without faces. She drew them when she should have been totting up. They were Mrs. Darling's guesses.

Wendy came first, then John, then Michael.

For a week or two after Wendy came it was doubtful whether they would be able to keep her, as she was another mouth to feed. Mr. Darling was frightfully proud of her, but he was very honourable, and he sat on the edge of Mrs. Darling's bed, holding her hand and calculating expenses, while she looked at him imploringly. She wanted to risk it, come what might, but that was not his way; his way was with a pencil and a piece of paper, and if she confused him with suggestions he had to begin at the beginning again.

"Now don't interrupt," he would beg of her. "I have one pound seventeen here, and two and six at the office; I can cut off my coffee at the office, say ten shillings, making two nine and six, with your eighteen and three makes three nine seven, with five naught naught in my cheque-book makes eight nine seven--who is that moving?--eight nine seven, dot and carry seven--don't speak, my own--and the pound you lent to that man who came to the door--quiet, child--dot and carry child--there, you've done it!--did I say nine nine seven? yes, I said nine nine seven; the question is, can we try it for a year on nine nine seven?"

"Of course we can, George," she cried. But she was prejudiced in Wendy's favour, and he was really the grander character of the two.

*******************************************

Haha. Don't know what has gotten into me. But I'm gonna type a little of the story whenever I'm free. Whatever for? Don't ask me.

Just for fun, perhaps, and to remind myself that I am still a child. LOL

Physics test tomorrow. Don't think I need to study for Physical Quantities and Measuring techniques. Then again, there's this GP essay that I still don't know how to continue. Fly back to me, my little muse. Stop being so disobedient and capricious, you make me act so too.

Now I'm talking to an imaginary character. URGH. But I wish to believe in all things magical. Still a kid at heart. Sigh...

I NEED SELF-DISCIPLINE!!! After doing the Atomic structure tutorial, I suddenly love Chem again. *beams in satisfaction*

I really am going nuts.

Come to think of it, I miss Hitlerina. She was a part of me, still is, except that she has not surfaced too often lately. I loved her. She was adorable.

Now I am talking about myself in third person. I AM going NUTS. I can join the crazies.

2005-03-05T23:16:00.000+08:00

Don't ask me what I am doing, blogging at this ungodly hour...actually not really, just that it's a little late to be blogging.

I realized that I need a happier blogging personality. Seems like almost every piece of my entries are some dark and brooding drama stories. ARGH!!!

What have I typed? I feel like laughing now. I'm ridiculous...

Haha. I feel like laughing, but I also feel like crying. EEKKKK....split personality alert!

Maybe I really do have a split personality. Which would really explain the sudden bursts of happiness, and the sudden wave of calmness, or just a sudden urge to sob. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Maybe...just maybe...I'm an empath. HAHA...what a joke. But anything's possible. Maybe all that sudden bursts of emotions are because people around me are feeling that way. I feel like laughing at my train of thought. But on second thought, it sounds so possible. And I really would like it to be real. WTH? I'm going nuts.

Seriously. Or why else would I cry when I see other's crying? FLASHBACK: Abigail's farewell during National Day last year. MAN...I was crying because the others were crying. OMG...

GEEZ. Sometimes I wish I understood myself better. Sometimes I wish I completely don't understand myself. HAHA. Another split personality disorder symptom thingy.HEH....incoherence emminent.

I want Miss Flo to return us our mini-essay we wrote on day 1. The one about our dreams and stuff. I think reading what I wrote will definitely cheer me up. HA...

2005-03-05T18:57:00.000+08:00

What the hell did I do that was wrong?

One single sound can get me into a heap load of trouble.

I just don't understand the way P works...really! Shoe? All you'll get is a more pissed off me. P is really an idiot. If P doesn't see where P went wrong...I will get more pissed with P...

Stop it!

I hate it.

The way everything goes wrong when I'm around.

It's just wrong.

Everything is wrong. I don't belong here. I shouldn't even have been born.

What's the point of it all?

You JERK...

I swear my jugular vein is throbbing violently, I can even feel it.

I need to stop clenching my jaw. It'll ache.

URGH...i feel like screaming and tearing P apart.

WHY?

I need to calm down.

To bad I can't do anything to P. Or I'll get jailed. URGH!!!

I hate this place!!!! Sometimes I even hate myself.

WTH...sh*t you!

ARGH!!! I'm really gonna blow up one day because of P. Why can't P be more understanding? EVER.

2005-03-05T15:01:00.000+08:00

Oh.yay! I finally changed the blog skin. But it took me ages to get it right. And it is still not perfect. The ad-block thing is getting on my nerve. How come it ended up more than 75 pixels? It was split into TWO layers...urgh! Nevermind. People will just have to scroll a little to view the complete blog. Until I find a way (and the time) to correct it.

Today's training was exhausting. 8km...is never an easy task for me to battle. I nearly died halfway through. URGH...my shoes are dirty again. AND I JUST WASHED THEM!

I slept and woke up. But I'm still feeling tired and my eyes ache... I am not looking forward to the physics test on Monday. Nor the Math test on Thursday. sigh.

2005-03-04T19:46:00.000+08:00

Testing...if this doesn't work...I'm so dead

2005-03-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

ewww...today's training was disgusting, but 100% fun, in a way. We ran in mud for 45 minutes. Do you have any idea how dirty I ended up. I was more muddy than the soccer players who were on the field. I had mud in my hair, my clothes, my underwear, my shoes, my socks and my poor feet were drenched in muddy water for 3 hours. When I got home and took off my socks, they were a PRETTY shade of brown and black. My shoes are ruined, I don't think I can even wear them to school tomorrow. Geez. But yet, because it was wet, and icky, it was fun. We were shrieking whenever our feet struck the muddier and squishier part of the field. YUcK...

I watched Hitch with some of my classmates today. It was really funny, I was laughing the whole time. Achievement: I managed to control my tears this time round.

Perhaps it was only because I was sitting inbetween Zhiwei and Jon Foo. So...no atmosphere to cry, and the show was after all, a comedy. Bruce Almighty flashback. LOL

The Lecture test was abysmal. I highly believe I'm going to end up with a single digit mark this time. URGH...it was unnerving doing the first question. But it was fun, overall, though. Challenging, yes...but so enjoyable.

I feel as though I'm a masochist. Maybe I am.

What the hell does MOE do that they need 4 of our photos? So irritating.

Yay. Due to A level release, we J1s get to get off school at 12pm...woohoo! Too bad there's that Physics test and Math test on monday. Though I seriously doubt they will have the Math test afterall. Since we haven't even completed c5, and haven't started on c6. LOL...ambitious Math dept.

2005-03-02T16:47:00.000+08:00

Haha. Jinyue and Sheena are crazy. They bought stationery to cheer me up. Not that I don't appreciate their effort, but I have to say that it failed miserably. Because I felt even sadder. Somehow, Someway...but I really don't know why.

Someone, let's say X, asked if I was pissed at X. But I'm not pissed at X, that phase is over, I am now just not liking X. Because, X has upset me in certain ways and breached my trust I don't trust X anymore. How can I like someone I don't trust? I don't know either.

I enjoyed the Class BBQ last night. At least it was something in a more lightbeat mood and everyone was contented. More or less, except for those who didn't get enough food. Cooking was fun. Except that the boys hogged the pits and claimed it as their territory. Whatever.

Med Fac 1 didn't win Dramafeste. I'm not even upset. I saw it coming. Shan't elaborate more.

There's a Chem Lecture Test tomorrow, and I haven't even studied a single page. I hope I can trust my memory to say that I know my stuff, or at least the basics. Haha...not possible, perhaps?

I'm exhausted, this past week has been a tiring one, lack of sleep, worry, anxiety, tears, laughter....sigh.

2005-02-28T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....results weren't that good. I'm only relieved that I got my 6 points.

Some people say that's good enough. Well, it's not.

Mrs Soh thought I was insane bawling over a non-perfect score. To say the truth, I thought I was too. Mrs See probably got freaked out...she was shocked at my reaction, I suppose. Mrs Chua was nagging at me, Mr Chai was his usual self, I don't have much comments about him there. Ms Koh was like a ghost, I hardly saw her. Just vaporised into thin air. Just like that...

Mrs Soh thinks she knows me like I'm a part of her body. Heh...I don't know about that.

At least I got to stay in RJ...at least I'm not pondering on how to commit suicide.

I gotta start learning how to count my blessings, and not the number of curses befallen on me.

My eyes are aching badly, from tears and glaring computer/movie screens. Hmmm. I was reduced to tears the instant I knew I would never see my name on the powerpoint slide, I reduced to tears again after I knew I was staying in RJC, I reduced to tears again when Mrs Soh demanded coyly for a hug, I reduced to tears when I saw people jumping up and down...knowing for some reason, I wasn't a part of them.

Is this life, really?

2005-02-28T09:17:00.000+08:00

Today...the fateful day...it has come.

I really wish I don't have to know my results forever. But I have to go down to school this afternoon and receive a slip of paper that will more or less decide my future, or at least the next 2 years.

Didn't sleep well, perhaps only fell asleep way past 3.am. I went online past 12 last night/morning, to my horror, found that no one was online. URGH...I thought they always had late night chatshows. HAHA...whatever.

But I'm still worried sick. Wondering if I'm going to rejoice or breakdown later.

L'il mantra: 9A1s....9A1s...9A1s....sigh

2005-02-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I posted 3 entries. Narcissistic much?

With less than a day left to the release of our O level results, I can guarantee that many many 16 or 17 year olds are worrying their brains out. In some, paranoia will sink in.

Mental conversation:

"I'm so dead...I'm going to die. Luck was never on my side. NOT EVEN ONCE."

"Think positively. You can't change your results anymore. You'll be fine..."

"Noooo...I think I'm going to do badly for English, Higher Chinese and Combined Humanities. HOW?"

"You won't. You should have been able to get an A1."

"But what if I screwed up? I'm gonna die..."

"You are not!!! Maybe you'll get a whole string of A1s tomorrow..."

"Ahhhh."

"Sigh. You are one paranoid person."

Soooo....right now, all I want is my 9A1s...I don't care for anything else. HELP.

Shit. I could have died.

2005-02-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

I'm in denial today.

Sweet denial, sprinkled with confusion, swirling and twirling my weary brain. Oh! Why do you have to torture me so?

Now, no matter where I go, no matter where I am...

I get a strange feeling. Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it in my heart. It makes me want to choke and sob. Something is coming. I don't know what...but there's a small tingle traveling up my spine, across my skin....and I can sense it. It's difficult to pin-point what it is exactly, but it's not good. I don't think it has anything to do with my results. If it were, I would have felt it a long time ago. It's something else. What is it?

I can sense a vibe. Misunderstanding, fear, anger, a little hate perhaps. No! I don't want to welcome it. If only I could control the vibes I feel, screen it out maybe. I wonder what my response will be when the repercussions of the vibe hit me forcefully in the head. Will I steel myself, stand up and defend the little land I own...or will I succumb to emotions and let my heart weep silently? Sigh...

I wish I had the courage to never give up.

I wish I had the ability to love everyone.

I wish I had the strength to show what I really feel.

I wish I had the time to appreciate everything.

I wish I had the calmness to filter out my negative emotions.

Is being psychic a blessing or a curse?

I don't feel like keeping a blog anymore. It's distracting and way too public. But I don't want to delete it because of selfishness, and the fact that it is public. Contradicting myself again...that's what I do best. Thinking too much I end up indecisive, or sitting on a painful barb-wired fence. URGH...

Sheena says I could be popular if I want. I don't know what she means and why she said that. I don't see the need to be popular. Popularity is shallow...Nobody should be so eager to please and end up as a bootlicker. I'm a principled person and I'm proud of it. I have my own unique thoughts and nobody should sway me out of my stand. Unless it's convincing enough, or I realize mine is wrong. I'd rather crack under the current than go with the flow. Life isn't a piece of cake.

I feel emotionless. Not happy, not depressed. Just hanging in between, a dangerously sharp caprice. I feel slightly bored with my life (it seriously lacks spontaneousity), slightly upset with the stuff I'm doing with my life, yet slightly glad that I'm not completely wasting it. If there were no such things as jobs, I would want to ride a golden pony all day long. Let the cool wind blow my sighs away. Let the rain wash my tears away.

I want to pursue a dream. But right now, my dream is blur, fuzzy and pixelized. Nothing is definite. Except that I want the white picket fence, green garden, red roses, fragrant wildflowers and a loyal soulmate. But majoirity of men are such chauvinistic pigs that indulge in sex or eyeing girls, a loyal soulmate is absolutely gonna be hard to find. Especially in the crowd of decievers we have around us.

I admit that I need constant change. I need affection and truthfulness...looks don't count much to me. I can't love easily. The only living thing I love is my dog.

Revelation: why am i typing all these?

2005-02-26T20:44:00.000+08:00

Did CIP for Kwong Wai Shiu today. For some part of the 4 hours, it was fun. At certain periods of time, I was praying that time would go faster.

Sheena showed me a funny weblog that I am obliged not to tell. It was awfully funny...of course, it only sounded funny because it was about a person we know. And the stuff was so true we could see the real personality behind that person who always puts up a smiling face. The person has REAL issues...haha. But it was so funny, I laughed non-stop.

I've learnt a lesson today. I just can't remember what it was. LOL

Certain people need to mind their own business. I am one of them. Sigh.

Perhaps I was too violent in one of my entries. Well...all females go through periodic fits of instability. Too bad for us.

I wish I could be happier than I am now.

2005-02-26T09:04:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....I feel like moving this blog to another address...

But not now. at least.

perhaps later.

I want my 9A1s....still very very worried.

And scared.

2005-02-25T20:09:00.000+08:00

Yes. The tagboard is finally working properly again. Let's just hope it doesn't fail halfway...

The glider thing was fun...but I don't think we made it to the finals. Let's just hope our class wins though.

Captain's Ball for PE was exhausting but exciting. I must have jumped a hundred times. PLUS....the other team defender was so tall, it was a wonder we actually got lots of goals in. HAHA...

Oh! And the role-play for GP was so pathetic and hilarious. Nicholas was acting dumb playing Paris Hilton. Si Zheng was pure humour. He's funny...in a strange way. I look at him and want to laugh. Raghu and I came out with "Guess Gold...to keep them guessing your age." It was so cute. HAHA.

We were laughing half the time.

And I just found out today that 2 people in my class have nothing in common with the rest of human kind except that they live on the planet earth. The boys are generally pretty normal, as males should be. The girls, on the other hand. 4 of them are not as female as they should be...hmmmm...I wonder what went wrong.

I'm also an odd one out in class. I'm the only one with a balanced brain. Half male, half female. I'm NOT bisexual, thank you. I just have the most balanced brain in class. LOL.

Thank God CT is normal...or I'll want to transfer class. Perhaps, if I can even remain where I am now.

nervouswreck!

2005-02-24T21:24:00.000+08:00

I think the tagboard is not working. I can't even access the tagboard webbie to find out what's wrong. Something is amiss.

It rained at Bishan today. I was glad. I got to get wet in the rain. I really wanted to just stand there, but I bet the coach wouldn't have allowed me to.

Felt more hyper today. Don't know why. Maybe I do, but I don't want to tell...LOL

I did 3 Physics questions today!!! In school, while waiting for training. Actually, I only had about 40 mins...but it went well. Thanks to Liangze and Sizheng.

I wonder how Dramafeste went.

I'm not happy with some people there.

God Save me...

2005-02-23T21:19:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

Why like that?

This week is another unlucky streak I'm going through.

Coloured envelopes, stupid rumours, S-ty and her lack of responsibility, B staring at me during lectures, my earrings being sucked up by the vacuum cleaner...what's next?

Sometimes, when people talk to me, I feel like shutting them out. Sorry to them, because I want to focus on something else. Maybe like my homework, or my food, or self-pity, or narcissism, or anything but not you. Maybe what you say I don't really feel like listening. Maybe it's the way you say things. Who knows? But these few days, I just wish to shut some people out. But I find myself trying my best not to.

I don't understand why I do this. Knowing I don't want to listen to whatever he/she is saying, but knowing that it's mean to ignore what they say, or don't give responses (whether appropriate or not), and then sacrificing my emotional and psychological welfare by listening to every word they say. Just in case there's a little nugget of gold there that I was meant to listen to.

Are they talking too much, or am I listening too little?

I wonder if they even listen to me when I'm on one of my little rants and sugar-high days. Do they even listen, really listen to the trills of laughter and choking of sobs. Try and figure out what I'm feeling? Or do they shut me off too?

I know people want to be listened to, that's why I listen. I try my best not to tune out...even when I'm listening to things I don't want to know, or am unhappy knowing.

People who knew me said I'm a non-conformist. I have my unique mindset and multi-layered personality. I think of things people don't, come out with the most controversial and strange ideas. But am I really one...if I still do the things I am doing to myself, to my family, my friends, and even my enemies?

Ms Koh once said that I'm most probably a confused child. She took one look at my drawings and said that. I never even had the chance to ask her why.

Now I realize what a blur the past 4 years was. Sure, I did bother slowing myself down to admire the flowers and reflect, no matter how ugly or pretty the image was. But, I never had the chance to find out everything I wanted to know, learn more about those about me....

I wish my life could be a gentle trot down a country road. With the pretty wild flowers, fragrant roses and the occasional thunderstorm. I want to do something spontaneous, like stand in the rain for one hour, huddled in the mud while laughing and crying at the same time. I love the rain. The rain is refreshing, and a little romantic.

I know I'm an idealist and a realist all rolled up in one. I love hanging my head in the white fluffy clouds, living in a pretend castle. But I also love treading on the earth.

Perhaps I really am a confused child. Perhaps.

I don't even know where this entire essay came from. Somewhere from the deep abbeys of my mind. Maybe a small part of it is because lately, with pre-results stress, people have been talking more, seeming more detached than usual. And they start blabbering.

I feel like a weed....constantly being stepped on and ignored. Worst still, spat on.

Yesterday, I was completely high (though I wasn't happy), but today, I'm absolutely low. But maybe no one could tell???

2005-02-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

Sheesh. Stupid Brown and White envelopes. The darn issue is driving me nuts. Why???

Why did I get a white envelope. Did I do really badly, or am I a top scorer. I really hope it's the second case. But so many people have brown envelopes it's a little disconcerting. Nothing can console me at this moment. Nothing can calm and sooth my nerves. I'm growing increasingly panicky and anxious by the minutes. And since 14 hours have past since I learnt that there were 2 types of envelopes....I'm worried. Just worried. Okay?

Why didn't MOE just stick to one uniform colour. They are creating uproar in our young little hearts. URGH. Angry. If they ran out of envelopes then go order new ones. And shouldn't they have counted the no of envelopes they had before hand? C'mon, they definitely know exactly how many students there are in this cohort. Just go order that amount and a few more just in case. It wouldn't hurt right? ICKS...

I want to join the Seletar Engineering Camp. But I don't want to do PT, all I want to do is detonate bombs and walk through minefields. That would be so freaking fun. Kaboom!

Obviously, I'm going a little suicidal, worried, cranky and upset.

And I'm pissed with someone. Why does he always have to be the first one to know about rumours, and spread them to the whole freaking world at 7 am in the morning! Yeah,Yeah, I know you have a brown envelope and I have a white one. I'm not color blind for God's sake. And yes, there's no need to be so absolutely sure you'll get at least 8 A1s and say...oh, those who got white envelopes most probably only got above 12 points. HAHAHA....

If I had the chance, I would wring your neck real tight and swing your body into the parade square. Knock some goddamn sense into your gel/wax/cream treacled head. I'll bash your theiving ass up.

Talk somemore and I'll really do that....grrr.

All those assholes who are going around spreading the damn rumour had better hold their tongues.

For all you know, it could be like the rumours spread in HC . White envelopes equals top scorers. Since there are so few around.

And to sheena. The point about not mentioned ben tay but just calling him by his initial is for secrecy. So...you should get my point.

If I don't make it to RJ, where will I go?

Quaint but frustrating question.

Sigh.

2005-02-20T20:43:00.000+08:00

I realize I love melodramatic stories. Yep, so I'm a drama queen at heart. Haha. I practically cried until my eyes stung and nose clogged because of a sad story I read. Awwww, it was so sweet and perhaps over-dramatic. But still, it made my cry, so it's considered a success by my standards. I couldn't help by let out this relieved and dreamy sigh after finishing the epilogue. Hmmm. Of course 2 or 3 chapters in the story was a little violent, which just served to make me cry somemore. LOL.

I'm sure Cheegake can confirm that I'm one of the most teary people she's ever seen. Teary not because I'm injured or hurt or whatever, but because other's tragic plight makes me weep. Sometimes it gets irritating when I cannot control the tear flow. I actually cry when people cry...ha!

I watched Bowling for Columbine and couldn't help but cry for the people who died and for those who killed. Sighhh...

I have concluded I have a split personality. Too tired to explain, and some parts of my life should remain private, yah? I'm a restrained but impulsive person. Understand? Didn't think so.

I want my 9A1s.....:)

2005-02-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

I really wish my computer can utilize Messenger...it somehow can't even enter the hotmail pages....urgh!

Therapy was a bore, and I decidedly dislike it. The therapist was so cold and was treating 4 patients at one go....easy money. He doesn't even explain properly how the exercises help, and stuff.

SRP aptitude test was easier than I thought it would be, but it still wasn't that easy I could do everything. But it was FUN....I wish I could do it again, just for the sake of it.

O level results are coming up....NOoooooo.

I'm still hoping I could quit school and join broadway. haha

2005-02-19T09:14:00.000+08:00

Finally went to my maternal grandparent's house yesterday night. Weird to be visiting so late during Chinese New Year, but at least I got a Hongbao. So....the Hongbao made up for the awkward silences and confusion due to the dialect barrier. I hate visitations. They are so superficial, farcical, boring.....etc...

I'm going for therapy later. Hope it goes well, since I skipped training this morning for it.

After that, I'm going for the SRP Aptitude test. I'm going to flunk out of it, for sure. C'mon....Olympiad standard? How am I supposed to pass that if my knowledge of everything stops at O level standard. Sigh....and no one even prepared us for this. If all aptitude tests were olympiad standard, I'll never make it to any research programme. URGH.

I want to quit school and join broadway. Sigh....nice dreams huh!

2005-02-16T19:19:00.000+08:00

sigh...

My arm is aching...but still, bloodtests are always fun!!! (I sound morbid)

I really really hope I have a iron deficiency...(I sound masochistic now). But it's not what you think. A iron deficiency for me means I'm cured of something else. haha.Bleah.

This few years, my medical fees probably exceeded a thousand bucks. Sigh.

O level results coming out soon...so soon. I don't want it to!!!! NOOOOOOOOOooooooooo. I want to stay where I am now. I don't want to move, or get kicked out, for that matter. But my chances are not high, because I always screw up my final exams. EVERY SINGLE TIME.....urgh. I just hope I didn't.

9A1s.....please?

2005-02-15T19:08:00.000+08:00

woah. So darn tired. I took a nap (two and a half hours long) but still feel very very tired. This is bad, it just means I won't be able to sleep tonight.

B is so weird. Now B is giving Sheena the creeps by appearing everywhere. haha.

Had training yesterday and my parents brought me and my brother out for dinner last night. I only got home at 9pm. After taking a bath and everything, it was too late and I was too boneweary to do anything substantial. But I lingered around on the brink of conciousness and finally went to bed at 11.30pm. I read a chapter of a story book and tried to fall asleep, but sleep eluded me. And I was left to toss and turn for another hour or so. I really don't know how long. While I was asleep, I was also aware that I woke up a few times just to turn and face the other direction. URGH....insufficient sleep.

This explains the tiredness I am showcasing to the whole world today. I want to watch Charmed tonight. I hope I can catch it. haha.

Sigh. Tomorrows a short day! Woohoo...but i have to go to the NSC...I hope I'm a very lucky person.

Just hope...FAT HOPE! LOL

2005-02-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

Okay, so that boring car ride turned out to be more exciting than I thought it would be. And everything was so impromptu.

When we left home, we only wanted to go to Melaka for the day and come back before nightfall. So happily we fed the dog and then left in the car. Then suddenly, when we were still on the way there, we decided to go all the way up to Genting. So we went to Jusco in Melaka to buy clothes, and then tried to get to Genting. By then, I was already suffering from a severe headache.

After leaving Melaka, we were trying our best to find Cheras. But apparently all the Malaysians have a different definition of straight than we have. When they say go straight all the way, you will drive and suddenly realize they didn't tell you to go straight on the upper deck or lower deck of the road. And you get so confused you just throttle down one way and realize it's the wrong one. And U-turning is so hard, because traffic is really fast and they don't ever let you turn. How unkind. haha. Then you ask another person, and they tell you straight. But when you go straight, you meet a fork road, and they didn't tell you if you should go left or right. So you choose one, and it's wrong again. Then we got to this little village with chinese men sitting outside talking. You know, those Ah Peks...and each one of them tells you to go to a different direction. Finally, one Ah Pek volunteered to get on his motorbike and bring you to some road. So happily we followed, and he brought us somewhere and said "Go straight". We asked him how long it would take. He said on his motorbike 20 minutes. So okay...we thanked him and left. And we were met with more forked roads and dual-layer highways. And the entire drive was more like an hour and a half. Twenty minutes...psshaw!

So we got a room at the Awana hotel, at 10pm. Ate dinner at the restaurant, and slept at past 12. At 7 plus we were up, went for breakfast and packed up. We left Genting at 8, almost 9....

Everything was fine....until we crossed the Malaysian custom. The traffic into Singapore was so heavy we were stuck at the same road for like 1 hour. For half a bridge, that's a really long time. haha. But when we got out, we were so glad and worried that the dog had starved to death. OR dirtied and trashed the house. But he didn't.

Driving at 120 to 150 kph was just amazing and awesome. When we got back to Singapore where the speed limit was only 90kph, everything felt so slow....just S....L....O.....W.

Hmmmm, and it felt good to have a bath and brush my teeth, because I didn't get to do so last night. No spare change, no underwear and no toothbrush....Eeeek....

Haha....now I have this sinking feeling that I am confirmed going to fail my Chem test tomorrow. I am so unprepared, and I understand but can't remember half the 32 page long lecture notes. Can we have an open-book or discuss-among-yourself test? Please?

2005-02-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

Wooyeah...watched Constantine with Gwenlyn, Sarah and Baldwin (and my brother and his 2 friends). It was quite a good show, except that I'm completely intrigued by the character Gabriel. She's pyschotic, right? But is she really evil, or good, or both? She's confusing. And funny, but at the same time scary. The nicest kind to know about, but not really to befriend. Hmmmm.

It was nice walking down the riverside Chinese New Year fleamarket place. Lots of nice trinkets to look at. But didn't buy much, because they're basically useless. I have this really bad thing of being attracted to useless stuff. Then after that, I don't even buy anything, and it makes me feel confused. Like....sort of, yay, I can withstand temptation, but, sheesh, I really loved those. Haha. Then when it comes to clothe shopping, I am just totally turned off, and then when I get home, I realized that I didn't buy anything again. And, I have nothing much to wear.

What a joke. No wonder Mrs Soh calls me joker. But I'm not joking at all. haha. (I feel like a contradiction upon another)

My brother lost his wallet. I think in a cab, because he thinks so. This is just so bleah. And I had to spend extra money buying tickets for all 3 of them again. So it amounted up to $43...he owes me a lot now. But he'll probably never return it, and because he's my brother, I won't even press for it. Sigh.....

I think Yihan and the rest are most probably pissed at me and the other 3, because we 'Pangseh' them. Oh, come on, I really don't want to play pool and arcade and then go over to Kenneth's house. I really wanted to watch Constantine, and if I knew I wouldn't get to watch it, I wouldn't have agreed to go out anyway. He apparently doesn't know me, or he's trying to hard. I am a very very difficult person to persuade. Once I make up my mind on not going or doing something, I really really cannot be swayed. Especially about going out to people's house and all, that kind of useless-and-waste-time stuff. Haha. He tried too hard in vain.

Alright. I might be going to Johor tomorrow. Don't know whether to be happy or not. It'll most probably be boring anyway, car rides only. But at least I'll get out of the country.

Ohhhh, sigh, my Hongbao situation is stagnant. Haha.

2005-02-11T11:18:00.000+08:00

Urgh...Will some one please teach me how to do the comments thingy?

Going to watch constantine with my OG soon. I hope it's good, if not, WTH....

2005-02-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

I want to watch American Idol and Amazing Race tonight....especially Amazing Race, since it's the finale.

Went to Thai Express at Esplanade for Lunch. The spicy curry and everything must have killed all my tastebuds. I was sweating away as I ate. It felt like some sort of self-punishment, which is why I don't get so many people loving Chili. To me, it's only to enhance taste, and should be served in minimal amounts. Definitely not the way the Thais have it. OMG. It was so sooooo HOT. haha.

Only got 2 hongbaos. Since I only went to my Ahmah's house today.

Chinese New Year is always very boring for me and my family since we do nothing, really.

Haha. But even I don't have fun, I hope others have fun. Because it's also nice to hear all you guy's stories and jokes. Just don't rub it in too hard. yepz...

Hongbao Tally: 2
Money collected: $140. (hope it increases)

2005-02-08T20:36:00.000+08:00

So darn tired. Throat sore, but i really don't want to be sick. Don't want naf to get mad at me. PLEASE GOD, SAVE ME!!!!

Decided to create a wish list just for fun. haha.
This is what I want for CNY and Valentine's.
1.Nice cards with nice things written in them.
2.Pretty, fragant flowers.
3.Doing well in my Chem test on V-Day.
4.Lots of laughter and no tears.(except maybe the happy kind)
5.Chocolates and candy.
6.Lots of hongbao money.
7.Good Luck.haha.
8.Good O level results.

Yep, mainly this is what I want. Nobody will even give me anything on the list, I know, I can see the future. But if there was an utopia for me, I want all these.

Reunion dinner was yummy. But I'm bloated and tired now. Sigh.

2005-02-08T16:09:00.000+08:00

Yay! I saw my old teachers in NY. Actually only Mrs Chua, Mrs Soh and Derek Tan. The rest were not there. Sob....

Mrs Chua was fun to see, so was Mrs Soh. haha. I love them more than some people of authority in RJ.

Okay. Gotta clean up my room and go for Reunion Dinner.

Went to Chenli's house today. Had fun. I think. LOL. Thanks for having me there. yeps.

2005-02-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

I hate myself.
I hate my coach.
I hate my parents.
I hate my team-mates.
I hate my captains.
I hate my acquaintances.
I hate my damn life.

Life has really been a bitch. So has my coach. Too bad he's male.

GO and DIE lah. Make my life happier.

Why must everyone be so much luckier than me.

I wish I had never joined Track in Sec 1. I would be happy in Choir and singing non-stop but be blissful with myself. I wouldn't have to worry that much about physical injuries and pple bitching at me because of that. I wouldn't have to worry about the asses of coaches I get, and how all of them are no much different from each other. All of them are just pieces of crap, reject material lying on the floor. Too bad some force moulded them into humans and they just had to bring that stench into athlete's once fragrant rose-scented lifes.

DAMN EVERYONE....

2005-02-06T18:54:00.000+08:00

Urgh. I hope Samuel Lim does not come tonight, he's an ass.

Looking forward to going back to NY on Tues.

Last week was one of the worst weeks I've ever had. I had the worst luck from Monday to Friday. Taxis, Dramafeste, being cheated by vending machines and LongJohn's staff, the lab balloting thingy, stupid stupid ankle. Basically, almost everything went wrong. Somehow, I'm still alive. I want to sleep forever blissfully, so that I won't feel it if anything went wrong.

Tomorrow's the start of a new week, and on Wed, a new year. But every single one of my CNY celebrations seem to fail. Not because of me, but because my parents somehow manage to take all the mood out by finding something to fight over. And it occurs EVERY SINGLE YEAR, as long as I can remember. This year is no different, unless they manage to patch up by new year's eve. Which is highly unlikely.URGH.

Official motto: Life's a bitch. (But so am I, sometimes.) LOL.

2005-02-05T18:32:00.000+08:00

Temporarily immobilized for 2 weeks. Great!

Missed the road relay today. Haha. Sigh...

DramaFeste is pretty much dramaless for me.

I realized that ankle guards made my feet turn blue. I hate myself. I'm so miserable.

2005-02-04T19:22:00.000+08:00

URGH! Can't find anything about the darn Paul's Wheel of Reasoning! WHY!!! How am I supposed to do my assignment like that?

Ankle confirmed hurting...so I'll just have to miss the road relay tomorrow. Sigh. I'm really really screwed up...

Today our class was influenced by the TGIF syndrome. We just went nuts. All the teachers were aghast..haha

WeiShern also went mental asking everyone out of 3 people(shan't mention their names) who would they Shoot, Shag and Marry. Uhhhhh....no comments. And he really reminds me of Chucky. LOL!

Sigh. I hope it's not a fracture...or I'm just so dead.

2005-02-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Sorry to all 408 pple. I might not be coming this sat coz of road relay competition. Provided that my ankle gets better by tomorrow. Or I can just go forget it.

Yeah,yeah, I did something bad to it again. I kinda twisted it(yes, the same darn fractured ankle) and the bone hurts now. I don't know whether what I'm feeling (i.e. bone pain) is true, or maybe it' just muscle. I really hope it's just muscle.

Today was exhausting. School till 12, lunch at J8 Pastamania, pool until 4.20, dashing to the Dramafeste classroom at 4.49, dashing for training at 5.08, running like 1 entire hour, running back to school only to fine that the classroom was empty and my bag and phone was gone, sprinting back to RI track to find Grace and Nicholas to contact either Smriti or Jade, twisting my ankle on the way, limping back to RJ, finally got hold of someone(Jade?), found out everyone was in LT5 and limped/run/hopped up to the LT, got some rehearsal thing that was pratically useless for me, and having dinner at 9.45 at LongJohn's, trying to catch a cab at 9.58, got one, reached home at about 10.20.

My stupid, stupid, stupid ankle!!!!

I'm going suicidal and moan-y again.

Mr Quek's not replying my message. I really really really need him to get back to me about my ankle. URGH!!!

2005-02-02T19:07:00.000+08:00

URGH!!! I didn't get the part. Whatever. I must get over it. Soon...

I should not have interpreted the stupid monologue that way....nevermind

Sigh.

I'll just be an extra in the play, appearing at the start and perhaps the end. That's all.

Okay...if only the play wasn't comedic, I prefer melodramatic parts. Sigh.

Forget it.

Brighter things....I had a hair cut today. It's kinda good, but also irritating, because my hair keeps getting in my face!! But a good haircut is a form of therapy. My OG mates think I need counselling, because I really think that some of the boys look like pineapples, Kenneth looks like a banana and Clarence reminds me of a chiku. haha...

2005-02-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

Woah...just got home. Darn shagged!

Just finished Casting auditions. If I don't get piggy, I'm gonna be a pathetic piece of backdrop. I think i have 55% of getting the part. Haaa...make that 100%....

I'll probably post more tomorrow. Still gotta complete some stuff...

I think Abbie's probably back in S'pore already. haha...no comments about her return.

GOODNIGHT to everyone reading this....which is probably like only me.

2005-01-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

Met Weiwei and Selene at FarEast today. I went shopping with my mum again. My main aim was to go book shopping, but she dragged me to see those funky clothes that I didn't really like.

So when I got to the bookshop I was like...ahhh, finally. And found lots of books. YAY!!! I sound like a mugger. But my books are like totally not related to studies, so I guess I'm not a mugger.

Haha. Don't want to do my homework, but have to...my life sucks.

2005-01-30T13:15:00.000+08:00

Life's kinda mundane today. Tired of living a life. Sigh....

Wish my PC didn't breakdown. Because of it, my father's blaming me. It's not even my fault. And he is too restrictive to whatever I view on the internet. I seriously think there's nothing wrong with visiting fanfiction.net. But apparently he does, he doesn't even know what's on there. URGH!!! IT's not like it's porn or something..

A little worried he'll kill me.

I find that I'm leading a life of fear and constant looking back. It's getting tiring, having to run from wrongdoings and wrongdoings. It's really tiring me out. Sometimes I just wished I was one of those who didn't give a damn about the world. Maybe not to that extreme, just one of those happy-go-lucky kind of people. My life is too tiring, really.

But still, today's not so interesting. Nothing much to be happy or whine about.

2005-01-29T20:24:00.000+08:00

Told Grace about my strange dream today after training. She found it hilarious. Actually I think so too, considering that I woke up laughing.

There was a road run competition going on at McRitchie today. Well, obviously i didn't take part. But the RJ team did well, very well in fact. Especially the boys.

Ran another 8km, with a stomach ache caused by drinking 7up before I ran. But i still improved, even though I walked quite a bit. Sigh, Kathleen is really good. I suck. Yeah, and Nicholas is a slacker...he ended up behind me. He should have been miles ahead. Mr Quek was pissed at the J1s for not stretching immediately after our run. Whatever lah, just because he didn't see me stretch doesn't mean I didn't and I'd do it again. He's still Mr.N.A.F...LOL.

Still doing Chem...I'm getting the hang of it, but still getting sidetracked and sleepy.sigh....

2005-01-29T09:42:00.000+08:00

I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that the crossctry guys were running a 4X100m race. Which is already weird, but it gets stranger. I dreamt that Madan was the second runner, he was running beautifully until he got to the third runner. Madan crashed into him while passing the baton. Then they started screaming at each other while finally passing the baton and running. Madan chased after the 3rd runner even after passing the baton. So they both were screaming and running and crashed into the 4th runner....And in the end there were 3 guys from RJC running in the same lane screaming at each other. Mr Quek was standing at the specs gallery screaming at them with a very very shocked look on his face. LOL...

Doing Chem homework right now. I feel bored and tired. This sucks...i still have to go for training at McRitchie today, at 230. Sigh.

I want THE CORRS borrowed heaven CD. Yihan has it. But his friend hasn't returned it to him yet. I should ask him again on Monday. I also want the Celine Dion CD, and the Sarah Brightman CD. But I always never buy them in the end because I'm too thrifty...haha. Who am I kidding. I just procrastinate until they get cheaper. yeah.

I really don't wish to know my O level results. I'm running away from reality. Sigh.

I realized that a long time ago. But I'm running away from the fact that I realized it.

2005-01-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

Went fencing today. It wasn't bad, just that it was too slow for my liking. If they were having tryouts I wouldn't mind joining fencing, but they're doing like training to eliminate people. If i go for their training, and Crosscountry training and Dramafeste rehearsals and probable Interact meetings and possibly O2com meetings....I'll just die and flunk all my subjects.

I think I hope to do O2com stuff...although it might become super time consuming, and make me miss all my X training, getting Mr Quek pissed off....I'm digging my own grave.

Don't want my O level results back. I really wish it to be ubergood. Then i can happily say "No worries"....but since when is my luck good.....urgh

Screams and dies...

2005-01-27T21:18:00.000+08:00

DramaFeste is on the day of our O level marks release. OMG....

Casting auditions are on next week after I get my script. I wonder what my fate is.

I'm so tired, I don't know what to say. Still trying to complete my BIO. It's real irritating that I can't sleep now. Got home only less than an hour ago. What a great life.

Theresa's nuts. She's just crazy. I pity Yvonne. Haha.

2005-01-26T20:03:00.000+08:00

Jaw still hurts.

Went shopping with my mother after class lunch. I met Yueting at J8 today and lingered around to talk to her. Congratulations to Weiwei for getting 3rd in the SAJC Crosscountry meet.

Trying to complete my GP compre now. Have to hand in tomorrow and still struggling with it. URGH...

I'm really worried (not nervous, just worried) about the interview and briefing tomorrow. Sigh, I don't know what to do about training tomorrow.

2005-01-25T22:50:00.000+08:00

Okay. Just got back from the dentist, and 2 different NTUCs at McPhersons and ToaPayoh. Took another X-ray. I wonder how much radiation my body has retained since last year. I counted...I have taken 9 X-rays over the past year, this month inclusive. Fracutured ankle, fractured finger, just-for-fun oral x-rays and this not-for-fun x-ray. Dentist said he couldn't see anything wrong, most probably some joint or muscle thingy in my jaw. If the situation doesn't improve, he'll refer me to a joint specialist. Sigh. I have depressing skeletal structures.And history.

How wonderful, I can't even yawn during lectures without wincing in pain. If I even rest my left cheek on my hand I'll just feel pain. Sigh, talk about being a contradiction upon contradiction.

Okay...still got lots of hw to do, but I want to sleep now. So I'll do them tomorrow.

I hope.

2005-01-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

I feel sick. The kind when you can feel it in your tummy that you're gonna be ill soon. My jaw still hurts, comtemplating going to a dentist to have it checked.

I actually got into DramaFeste, I thought I wouldn't make it. Afterall, I didn't really want to auditioned and got forced by Jade and WooChiau. Won't be surprise if they make me do more animal sounds.

Thursday is gonna be busy. Interact Club Interview at 3pm, DramaFeste briefing at 5pm and X-ctry training at 5.10pm. How am I supposed to be at 2 place at once?

Will post more tonight, if i have the time. Or am up to it. Still feeling sick

2005-01-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

Today I finally got to sprint a little. Was glad.

But right now my left side of the jaw hurts, my ankle is clicking and my body is aching.

I think I pissed off my GP teacher today by doing that stupid drawing thing. She asked us to draw, so I did...even though it won't make sense to most people.HAHA...she is soo gonna kill me. I haven't even done her GP compre yet.

Fell asleep during Bio lecture today. Actually half asleep where I could still understand what she said but my eyes were just closed and my head nodding. Theresa and Yvonne crashed Bio lecture. They really have nothing better to do. If I were J2 like they were I wouldn't bother crashing a J1 lecture to chitchat and get scolded by the lecturer. They were lucky nobody asked what class they were from.

Okay...still pleased with my blog's new look.

New loooooook....

2005-01-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

I gave my blog a make-over. Very exhausted from all the typing and figuring out of html, which I scored a wonderful 'C' in during IT class 3 years ago.

I think the little girl in the picture is very cute. Don'cha think?

Wanted to change the picture to some flowery thingy, but felt sorry for the little girl and decided to give her a chance. Might replace her a few weeks later though.

I'm trying unsuccessfully to do my GP. I still have to do Bio, Chem, Phys and Math. URGH. The day is almost over and i have yet to complete them. Luckily they aren't due tomorrow. EXCEPT for GP. I hope it's not due tomorrow. PLEASE let it not be due tomorrow. COZ I don't know how to do a single question.

I think the template is a little too pink. But I don't care. It looks pretty sweet. Just like ME!! Who am I kidding? LOL

depressedlittlegirl signing off...buh-bye

2005-01-23T13:39:00.000+08:00

I HATE you.....How dare you call me a traitor. I HATE YOU!!!!!!! You SUCKER....I Will never ever ever ever respect you again. Shut your ass up!!!!

2005-01-22T18:10:00.000+08:00

I'm so pathetic. I couldn't even post all those surveys up properly. Nevermind, I promise I'll find some time to put them up. EVEN THOUGH NOBODY EVEN COMES HERE. I seem to have a very lonely blog.

Doing Physics while using the com. What can I say? I've always been a multi-tasker. What crap! I'm just a procrastinator with a dwindling attention span. Can't even do anything right anymore. I hate myself sometimes.

I think 1S03F is like 408 in many ways. We have our own cliques. We don't have a common table where we will all go to during our free periods or recesses. Although we get along just fine, it's the kind of class that you don't have great memories with. Good memories yes, but not great, indelible ones. And after you part ways, you don't really miss each other that much.

I hate the kind of classes where you have half the population who already know each other pretty well, and the other half feels a little alien but form their own tiny cliques very quickly. And then those who really don't know anyone at all in the entire community just doesn't find his/her own close friends. It's because he doesn't have any prior knowledge of anyone that he/she drifts from one group to another, develops a kind of unhappiness towards certain groups of people, and eventually loses himself, beating on his own drum.

And there will always be the more popular group, who makes decisions and kind of produce this effect whereby everyone has to follow them. The kind where you can't really say no because even if you do, nobody is willing to stand up with you. Being a non-conformist, I have often suffered from this tragic phenomenon.

I wouldn't say i don't like 408. I would say that I don't really love it. I like it, because I do, but there's nothing there really that makes me want to hang on to it. The people are nice people, but they are also hard to love. All these in relation to my heart and soul, that is.

1S03F is like 408. We appear friendly to each other, we act friendly to each other, but we don't connect to each other. We do rubbishy things together, try to bond, but the bonding is superficial, only a single bond. I don't think we will ever be able to form bonds like triple bonds, or even double bonds for that matter. After we graduate, I can totally predict we will hardly see each other again. Except for a few close friends here and there.

I hate these kinds of feelings. Something so farcical is not really worth salvaging.

These two classes are the kind that you may feel hurt at certain times, but you don't have anyone to share your troubles with, unless it concerns them too. The kind where you have to push away your pain, heartache, tears, and plaster a smile and act like nothing's wrong. The kind with very few dramas that we will remember for life, or feel our heart reach out for the person in context.

It's the kind with more laughter than tears. And I feel that tears make something more personal than laughter.

What am I even doing all these for, nobody even sees this blog. Another indicator on the unbonded relationships I have from school. I hate it when you have nothing nice or sad to look back and reflect on. I'd rather the days be sunny with some thunderstorms, rather than a period of sunny days.

By the way, this entry was typed because I read Peiqi's entry where the main gist was that 408 was a close/great class. I disagree with her and hope everyone can see the real scene behind that perfect painting. Why do I care, nobody even tags...:(

2005-01-22T17:28:00.000+08:00

Everything About You Survey
Created by Crimsontear and taken 8928 times on bzoink!
Personal Information
First Name//	Matilda
Age//	16
Gender//	Female
Nickname(s)//	Hitlerina...uhhhh
Hair Color//	Dark brown
Hair Style//	layered shoulder length
Eye Color//	Reddish brown in the sun, chocolate in the shade
What is your favorite
Color//	Don't have one
Game//	Pacman.
Song//	Don't have one.
Music Video//	none.
Animal//	Dogs, Horses, Unicorns
Sport//	none
Country//	Singapore...patriotism
Movie//	Raising Helen.
Food//	Italian and Chinese
Friends
Best//	Don't know
Funniest//	Kenny
Coolest//	don't know
Sweetest//	my dog
Kindest//	eh.Cheegake, i guess.
Annoyingest//	Meiyi
Dullest//	shant say
Stupidest//	me
Most Intelligent//	me too
Athletic//	me again. I'm not sure.
Relationships
Boy(Girl)friend//	my imaginary soul mate
Are you in love right now//	yeah, he's imaginary
Do you have a crush//	no.
Do you have a stalker//	yes. Stupid sissy guy.
Do you miss someone right now//	no
What do you do
At school//	learn stuff, goof up, stuff up
At home//	study, use the Internet, sleep...
Outside//	train, enjoy(or not)
When you first wake up//	Reach for my glasses
What _____do you hate
Food//	spicy stuff
Color//	Brown and sometimes green
Hair color//	Fake blondes
Tv show//	Those Chinese soaps
Clothing style//	Punk, Goth
Movie//	stupid ones that have no meaning behind them
Emotions Right Now
Are You Happy Right Now//	no
Sad//	a little
Grumpy//	a little
Annoyed//	somewhat
Angry//	a little
Sick//	a tiny bit
Lonely//	not really
Bored//	yeah
Have you ever
Made your own religion//	no
Written backwards//	yes. An entire essay
Written your own magazine//	no.
Drawn art//	yep, but i failed
Got angry with a game//	yes
Played Lacrosse//	no
Broken a bone//	fractured two bones
Dyed your hair//	no
Put in contacts for no reason//	no
Swam alone//	no
Things that come to mind when you read...
Intelligentence//	me
Stupidity//	me
Depress//	me
Blood//	me
Blue//	green
Gray//	black
Sword//	in the stone
Golf//	donald trump
Soccer//	stupid
Yellow//	red
Socks//	shoes
Ribbon//	pretty
Random Questions
Play Sports, if so, what ones//	Track and Field
Have a lot of friends//	I don't know, in relative to whom?
Write good//	Yeah, when I'm in the mood
Eat a lot//	Yep.
Like the day Friday//	Not really
Like the month December//	Awww..yeah. My birthday!
Do you(or are you)
(DY)Give good advice//	Sometimes
(DY)Talk crap//	All the time
(DY)Play a lot of games//	not really
(DY)Wear hats//	no, I hate them
(DY)Like to be outside//	If it's raining yes.
(AY) Always mad//	no
(AY) Always happy//	no
(AY) A good friend//	I sure hope so
This or that (Last questions)
Night or day//	in between
Snow or Rain//	snow, but it never does here.
Stars or the Moon//	stars
Ocean or Pool//	ocean
Boat or Plane//	plane
Books or Magazines//	books
Yu-Gi-Oh Cards or Pokemon Cards//	what are they?
Blonde or Black Hair//	black.
Green or Blue Eyes//	blue
Pants or Shorts//	shorts
Pop or Rock//	neither, Easy listening
Punk or Emo//	what's that?
Tatoos or Piercings//	Neither, except for conventional ear piercings
Necklace or Ring//	ring, engagement preferably
Clouds or No Clouds//	clouds, block out the sun please..
Art or Literature//	Literature
Jeans or Baggy Pants//	Jeans
Singing or Dancing//	Singing
March or May//	March
Halloween or Christmas//	Christmas
Coke or Pepsi//	Pepsi
Hug or Kiss//	Kiss...aw shucks, Hug. Both's perfect.
Create a Survey Search Surveys Go to bzoink!

That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it uh-huh, uh-huh.

2005-01-22T13:42:00.000+08:00

Today is officially survey-day for me. I'm gonna post lots of surveys i've taken here. And I just got back from a 8km run in MacRitchie. Feel like dying. After this I'm gonna sleep.

I got this while blog-hopping.

How old are you? 16

How old is your inner child? Two and a half at times, 45 at times

What are your worst qualities? Procrastinating

What are your best qualities? I dunno…intelligence? Being nice?

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 10 minutes. Then I gobble down breakfast and dash for the bus.

~SLEEP~

Do you dream at night? Quite frequently I think.

Do you remember your dreams? Most of the time. Sometimes partially.

What time do you go to bed usually? After 1130 and later.

What time do you wake up normally? For school, around 5.50

What time do you wake on weekends? 0730 to 0915

Do you find waking up late nice or annoying? Annoying, since my body clock strangely doesn’t allow me to wake up after 10 at the latest

Do you sleep with one pillow or two? One for my head, another to hug

~SCHOOL~

Do you like school? Sorta, to fill up my day and relieve stress. Weird huh?

Why/why not? I like my friends. I like being busy.

What's your fave subject? Not sure at the moment, JC curriculum is a little strange with stupid lecturers.

Most hated subject? Unsure. Must have my first common test then I’ll know.

Do you have a fave teacher? Not in my current school but yeah for the past.

Ever had a crush on a teacher? Nope. Most male teachers are a little feminine.

Are you a maths/science person or an english/drama person? Math/Science definitely. But I’m an erratic person with fluctuating moods, so sometimes I like English and Drama.

~FRIENDS~

Do you have heaps of friends? I suppose

You have a best friend? I don’t think so. I’m not sure if there’s anyone who thinks of me as their best friend.

Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends? I don’t know. Girls, because I just graduated from a girls’ school. But at times Boys make better company than girls, and sometimes the reverse occurs.

Do you ever get annoyed at any friend? Well, yeah. Most definitely.

Have you ever lied to a friend? Uh-huh. But not about my feelings though.

Have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend ? NO.

~FAMILY~

Do you like your parents? At times. Sometimes I just hate them.

Ever run away from home? Nope.

Ever thought about it? I can’t remember. Maybe.

Do you have any siblings? Two male siblings.

If so, do you like or get annoyed with them? Annoyed. They give me nothing but trouble. Both directly and indirectly.

Do you feel your parents spoil you? Nope.

Do you not get along with any of your family? Everyone of them, at some point or another.

Do you have big family get togethers ever? Yeah. But my family never attends them.

~RELATIONSHIPS~

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend ? Nope.

If so, are you in love with them? Not applicable

Do they love you? I sure hope so if I have one.

How long have you been together? Not applicable, unless you count my imaginary boyfriend/fiancé/husband…haha

Most romantic thing they've ever done for you? Its mostly a mental storybook life thingy. Non existent in real life.

If so, are you in love?Ehhhh….

Do you have a crush? I don’t know. I’m a pretty confusing person

Do they know you like them? can’t answer this

Is it serious or playful? Again can’t answer.

How long have you liked them? Liked who?

Ever done something stupid to impress them? N/A

~Religion~

Do you have a religion? No. I don’t want to be labeled under any category.

Do you practice it i.e go to church? Nope.

Do you believe in God? Yes

Jesus? Yes

Satan? Yeah…I think so.

Heaven? Yes

Hell? Yes

If you died tomorrow what do you believe will happen to you? I sure hope I go to heaven. And I want a full size screen where I can still hang on to threads of my loved ones lives.

Does death scare you? I don’t know. A little I guess. It’s not death, but it’s the way it comes.

~Morals~

Have you ever been drunk? No

Stolen? A gummy bear

Shoplifted? nope

Tried to commit suicide? No.

Lied to a boyfriend or girlfriend? Have never been attached except to my above mentioned imaginary soulmate.

Gotten into a fight? I suppose. Depends what kind of fight you’re talking about.

Are you more innocent or guilty? Whaddayamean? Of what crime?

Would you date a drug addict? No way, Jose.

Have you ever had to look after someone who was a drug addict? No

Are you racist? A little.

Are you discriminatory to anyone? I try my best not to be. But I’m unsure of myself.

Have you been a hypocrite in the past? I don’t think so.

~Media~

Do you watch tons of tv? No

How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months? 5 times, because it was after my ‘O’s. And that’s what most people do, don’t ask me why we can’t find anything better to do though.

Do you listen to the radio often? No. Not really

Read the newspaper? Unless I’m forced to.

Do you read magazines? No. But I like looking at colorful fashion pictures, and cool scientific ones. Art doesn’t really appeal though.

Are you a couch potato? Nahhh.

Do you use the internet too much? Lately yes, sometimes no.

~Music~

Whats your fave style of music? Modern-classical opera, Celine Dion, Easy listening.

Do you play an instrument? Yeap.

Do you sing? Oh yeah, a lot.

Whats your fave band? Ehhh…I don’t really listen to bands but if I must choose, I’d say the Corrs.

Why? Good music.

Have you met them before? Fat hope….and I won’t even know what to say anyway, I’m not a great fan.

~Sports~

What's your fave sport? Don’t have one.

What's your fave sport to watch? Synchronized swimming, rhythmic gym and track events.

Do you have a fave team of any sort? No

Do you play a lot of sports? I’m in the Track team, considered much?

Ever won anything for sport? Yeah.

~Personality~

Are you funny or serious? Both I guess, as I said earlier, I’m erratic with mood fluctuations.

Creative or not? Creative..

Logical thinker or lateral thinker? Uh….mostly logical.

Are you outgoing or shy? Just cold and distant until someone warms up to me. Then I pretty much am crazy and outgoing.

Are you lazy or active? I have sudden bursts of lethargy and energy.

Have you ever been hyperactive? Yeah….

Are you a naturally hyperactive person? I don’t know.

~Looks~

Are you happy with the way you look? Not really

What would you change? My nose and figure

Do you wear makeup regularly? No, unless I’m on stage performing or for Prom night.

Do you have a large wardrobe? No. My wardrobe is pathetic.

~Money~

Do you have a job? No

Do you like it? ...

Are you a saver or a spender? I’m a little of a scrooge.

Do you work hard or slack off? Depends on my mood again.

Have you ever been fired? No

In trouble at work? No

Made a major mistake? Never

Ever had money stolen from you? Cell phones considered? Well they are money.

Are you always broke? No…I make sure I have spare.

~Embarrassing Moments~

Ever snorted drink out your nose? No…but I did snort out rice.

Ever giggled like an idiot? Yes….

Ever embarassed yourself and pretended nothing happened? Uhhuh

Ever tripped in front of someone you liked? No.

Ever said something really stupid? Yes…

Ever snorted while laughing? Nope, or at least I don’t recall

Ever fallen off a bed? No

Ever sleepwalked? No

Ever sleeptalked? No…I don’t think so. I wouldn’t have know anyway.

~Thoughts~

Ever had funny thoughts and laughed and no one understood you? Yes

What's the first thought that comes to your head when you hear these names?
Melissa-hardworking

Bob the Builder- stupid show and alliteration

Vanessa- highpitched girls

Alyssa- Milano Phoebe

Jess- bimbo

Brian- some boy

Charlie- Chaplin

Olivia- bitch

Drew- Carrey

Anita- Mui

What're the first thoughts that come to your head while hearing these words?

cheese-cake

rubber- tree

clothes- underwear

big- small

dress- nothing

jacket- red

polyester- ester linkages and condensation molecules

kite- East Coast Park.

Woohoo...

2005-01-21T22:35:00.000+08:00

Woah...my OG mates just left my house and I had only just taken a bath. It is so freaking late, and I am obviously freaking tired. Honestly, the outing wasn't that great. We didn't really bond much. Actually i don't really see the point of having any more OG outings until mid February, when we'll start missing each other more. If we meet like every morning, we will eventually get bored with each other. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Saw Xiaolee (the NY councillor whom lots of people dislike) with her boyfriend at East Coast Park. I think she was pissed at him, coz she was giving him evil eyes...Wadeva, none of my business anyway.

I walked for about 1 hour today. I can just die. 40 mins from East Coast park to home, another 20 mins to and from my house to Meyer road. Grrrr...how am I supposed to run X-country tomorrow, McRitchies somemore.

Sigh. At this moment and at this time, I have a grudge against life. Not only because of CCAs, but also because I have a dysfunctional family life and I am pissed at my dad for even daring to think that I am a traitor. If he thinks so, just shut his mouth up and don't tell me anything! Not that I want to know, and I didn't tell anyone about what he said anyway....

I hate my life. Though it can get worse, it can also be much better.

2005-01-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

I am so depressed. About the stuffed up stupid track and x-country situation. I don't want to say anything more. I'm just very very upset.

2005-01-19T18:57:00.000+08:00

Today was cca feste. It wasn't very interesting. I signed up for Track and Cross. Well actually I didn't have to, since I'm already in both. I signed up for Interact, Fencing and Canoeing as well. I plan to forgo canoeing and maybe fencing. Not sure yet though. I also went for the Med Fac Drama Fest audition thingy. Got dragged in by Jade. So funny. I don't think I'll be casted, they'll probably make me down sound effects or something. LOL

Still procrastinating over homework. And there's GP tomorrow, I hope the teacher doesn't black mark me or something. Benjamin is decidedly a big wuss, and a sissy. He is sooooooo weird, and freaky.

I signed up for the Research thingy on suicide something. So me right? OKay, i don't know. There's training tomorrow, not looking forward to it. I hope i can get into Interact.Wadeva

2005-01-19T11:43:00.000+08:00

Denise, if you ever see this I'm pissed with you for not replying about my jacket. Please reply....please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Haha...Raghu has this permanent image of me as a morbid panadol and sugar addict...actually it should be ex-panadol addict. Because, my headaches have generally stopped so i don't need them anymore, still carry them around for security and precaution though.

Bio prac was fun. Especially the tubing of potatoes and stuff..basically all the chopping bits! Rather unhappy that 2 of my teachers are J3s though. It just means that the teaching won't be that good due to inexperience, and we can count on flunking the first lecture test, whenever that is.

I didn't grow any taller, weight i can't remember what it was the last time. The RJC PE T-shirt is so thin. I have doubts it will survive the washing machine. Have to get black FBTs, since only black bottoms are allowed and I detest the RJC PE-shorts.

There's triple science again tomorrow. Dreading it. I fell asleep during Math Lecture today. My handwriting got smaller and smaller as my eyelids drooped. Then i started subconciously drawing tiny lines across my paper, and when i realized it my eyes snapped open, only to be drooping again once the lecturer starts talking. I was basically copying notes and sleeping. URGH.

I really need to know the whereabouts of my jacket. I love it too much, I've actually grown attached to the NY Track jacket. Sigh. I'm a pathetic person.